disconnected...

"We're sorry, the number you are trying to reach has been disconnected."

Ergggg.

Have you ever been trying to reach someone and gotten that message?
As you hold the phone, in disbelief you hear:
"If you believe you have received this message in error, please check the number and try your call again."
And in your head you are arguing,
"No, I have not dialed the wrong number. But I will try to dial again."
And you dial and the process is repeated?
Ergggg.
You have dialed the number a hundred times.
But just to be safe, you check.
And realize you are one number off.
Oops.
Or, you dial "the same number", just very slowly and get through.
Stupid phone, why couldn't it work right the first time?
It surely couldn't be that you were wrong!

Once in a while the number really has been disconnected
and you are left to wonder-
what happened?
How long has it been disconnected?
It worked when I called five years ago!

Relationships can be like that.

You are connected to someone.
Communication is clear and consistent.
Then something happens-
you try to communicate and you can't get through.
You are disconnected and you are not sure how or when it happened.
And trying the same thing over and over is not making a difference in the outcome!

If it was a passing acquaintance and your life is unaffected,
being disconnected is not an issue.

If it was a one sided relationship-
and you were doing all of the giving,
being disconnected can be a relief.
You don't "check the number and try your call again".

Sometimes, though, being disconnected is heart breaking.

Disconnections can be caused by:
Assumptions or
misunderstandings that are left to fester.
Sometimes you have to stop and carefully consider
the words you are using
(or not using)
in the relationship.

Disconnections can be caused by:
Negligence or
taking people for granted.
Sometimes you have to stop and think-
when was the last time you tried to connect?
What have you invested in this relationship?

I am taking inventory of my relationships.

I realize that sometimes I am guilty of allowing
busyness
pride
stubbornness
selfishness
unforgiveness
negligence
assumptions
carelessness
to infiltrate my relationships.

I find myself asking,
Who am I connected to?
Who do I want to be connected to?

There are people in my life that I do not want to be disconnected from.
I must decide what I am willing to invest in our relationship to assure that we remain connected.

I also must be mature enough to realize that it takes two to make a relationship work, and sometimes, a disconnect is inevitable.
Even if I am "paying my phone bill" if they are not paying theirs, there will be a disconnect message when I call.

If you are disconnected only you can answer the question:
Does this disconnect matter to me?
And if it does,
How much am I willing to invest to attempt to re-connect?