ministry, purpose and passion

I think God has been shaping me for ministry since I was 15 months old

that is when my first brother entered the world

I have been practicing taking care of people since then

watching over them by choice

being assigned to keep an eye on brothers and cousins

being annoyed by people

feeling responsible to keep them safe

thinking I had to make them happy

sharing willingly

refusing to give them their due (good and bad)

sometimes helping myself to what is rightfully theirs 

(my mom tells me when she would give me two cookies, one for me, one for my brother, I would take a bite out of his-of course, even at two and half my main concern would have been to make sure it was good and okay for him-right?)

At times, 

by turns,

and not always in the following order

I have been unsure of what my ministry is or should be

I have been confused about how to fulfill my ministry

I have embraced my ministry

I have rejected my ministry

I have done it well

I have failed miserably

I have wondered if I have a ministry

I have ministered because I want to 

I have ministered out of a sense of duty

with apathy

with enthusiasm

with dread

with concern

on purpose

on autopilot

by accident

by carefully making and carrying out a plan

haphazardly

half heartedly

zealously

My family and sharing in/being part of their ministries have been my ministries for so long that when the kids grew up and moved on, and then when Bill died I was lost. Confused. Unsure. Scared. Bewildered. What would/should ministry look like now?

While I was at Ruth's something clicked in my mind.

I found some clarity.

It made me excited to come home.

I have people that are MY people.

I have a ministry that is MY ministry.

caring about others

listening to their stories

sharing their joys and sharing their sorrows

teaching what I've learned about Jesus

loving out of the love I have because I am loved by Jesus

these are my passions

these feed into my purpose

these direct and mold my ministry

one of my people