when you are right- until you are wrong

It has been A DAY.

I woke up, early, without an alarm, feeling rested. I was  excited because chapel didn't start for more than 2 hours. I could do all of my morning stuff and arrive early. There was no soccer practice today, and the forecast was "sunny and warm". I was giddy. It was an almost full "free" day, perfect for garden therapy. Translation: I would be able to finish the yard work I didn't have time for yesterday. I am one of those odd ducks that likes pulling weeds.

I finished my morning routine and had a few free minutes to check some things on the computer before heading down to KCU. I could feel it. It was going to be a GREAT day! I could barely wait to get to campus. I knew there was something powerful coming at chapel.

WHAM! 

Out of nowhere I got hit hard by the grief stick. The kind of hit that drives me to my knees to pray as I cry. The kind of tears that make my eyes feel like they are full of salt or sand or both, all day. The kind of sorrow that makes me so tired my arms and legs and chest and head feel weighted. The emotional blast depleted every ounce of energy I had. It was past time to leave for chapel. I texted some prayer warriors because this was bigger than I could face on my own. There would be no chapel this morning. And this was not going to be a great day.

As I finished sending out a plea for support, I received a text from one of my graduated soccer girls, asking for prayer. She was struggling with some unexpected things. I sent her a text with three praying hand emoji's. I didn't have words and I didn't want to share with her, since she had asked for me to pray for her, that I too was struggling and could use some prayer. On the heels of her first text came a second- she said that the Lord had laid on her heart that the people she was reaching out to for prayer also needed to be prayed for. I told her she was right, I did need prayer today.

She didn't know.

But God did.

And when I started being "team mom" I had no idea who the young ladies would be who'd enter my life, let alone which ones would stay.

But God did.

I did not get to enjoy the beautiful day working in my yard, feeling the thrill of dirt under my fingernails and the heady euphoria of seeing the flower beds and raspberry patch weed free. Instead, I sat on my porch swing. Rather than garden therapy, I leaned hard into Jesus. I called to mind repeatedly that I had three friends praying specifically for me. And I read. Two books. Occasionally I simply sat and let the sun kiss my face and the wind caress my skin. I simply did not have the energy to do anything else. As I looked for a "reason" it comes down to this:

I am missing my family a little extra.

Not just them physically, but the life that was mine when they were living it with me.

At about 6:30 I decided it was time to eat dinner. Hard boiled eggs and fresh pineapple was my meal. Not because it sounded delicious, but because both were in the fridge, prepared and ready to go. No cooking or going out to pick up fast food for me today.

I was checking for a reply on Facebook before I headed back out to the swing when I heard my doorbell ring. I hurried to open the interior door and almost started bawling, again. Standing on the other side of the full glass storm door was one of my sons. He'd been in Lexington recruiting today and decided to drive over to Grayson this afternoon. He wanted to meet the "new" football coach at KCU, catch up with a few others. And then he came to check on me.

He had no idea how much I needed to see and hug family today.

But God did.

I had no inkling all those years ago when Bill and I opened our home and I cooked dinner every Monday night (and some other meals) for a group of KCU football players that some would become part of our family.

But God did.

These are the kinds of things that strengthen my faith. They are tangible reminders that God sees me. He cares. He loves me in ways I cannot begin to orchestrate. He is faithful to provide what I need, when I need it. Often in unexpected ways.

Too bad it is getting dark.

I think I could get those beds weeded now...

I was right about today early this morning. 

For most of it I thought I'd been wrong,

but today turned out to be a great day.

me and my son (TJ) Tyrone Young

And as I finish editing this, I see lightening flash across the sky. I hear thunder rolling. I like thunderstorms. If we get one, it would be a perfect ending to this day.