not today fear

today I celebrate part of the change God is making in my thought processes
I did something I didn't know if I would ever be able to repeat 
I voluntarily spent a good part of my day at Kings Daughters Medical Center

Jonathan William, my firstborn son, has been battling stomach stuff 
tests revealed he needed his gallbladder out
two weeks ago they called with his surgery date

and for the last two weeks flashbacks of August 28, 2014 have taunted me- 
the day I went to KDMC with Bill and settled in by his bedside,
not knowing we were beginning to share the last 24 hours of his life here

Jonathan and Jess were very aware of the date 
they would have preferred to change it too
but a new baby is due in a few weeks and there was no way we could wait 

yesterday they made it a point to assure me all would be well
I didn't need to come to the hospital, I could come to the house for a visit afterward
and full of thanks they understood, I focused on that option

but beginning last evening all I could think about was the two of them
and my love for the living took charge of my thoughts, minimizing my fear of flashbacks
this morning I wholeheartedly wanted to be at the hospital with them
so I drove to Ashland and met them at registration
Jonathan's surgery went well
and late this afternoon I walked out with everyone I spent the day with
Thank you Jesus for today's victory over fear.