taking care of the crap

It's been a season of my words being frozen. 

I could feel them.

Brewing.

Wrestling.

Struggling.

Weighing heavy.

Pushing against the walls in my brain to break free.

I've had frustrating "on the tip of my tongue" moments, 

instances where I could clearly sense their urgency, 

but not enough clarity of thought to express them coherently.

So I have been silent,

all the while looking for opportunities to write.

Soaking in physical reminders of God's faithfulness,

glimpses of hope and unmistakable moments of assurance,

using them as anchors mentally and emotionally,

since I was not able to use them as I normally do,

as physical releases of words and thoughts.

Today the thaw occurred

during a most unlikely, unpleasant chore.

It's strange to me the things God sometimes uses.

I have done been on the road often this year.

Intense situations and circumstances that could not be ignored or delegated

have consumed my time, my thought processes and my energy.

Physically,

mentally,

emotionally,

spiritually.

There has not been freedom to slow down, 
not enough time in between life events
to address the "waste" that has accumulated
as we have "done the things"
and lived the daily grind,
internalizing what we need to survive 
and letting what was not necessary drop where it may.

As I canvassed the yard, front to back then side to side,
stooping to scoop up pile after pile,
I realized I had a choice.
I could leave the dog crap where it was, 
or I could continue to take the time and exert the energy needed to clean it up.
My choice would affect not only me, but the neighbors as well.
(Imagine the stench that would suffocate us if I never made the effort to take care of it.)

And the same principle is true in my life.
So I'll be spending time alone this evening at home,
to deal the waste that has accumulated
mentally
physically
emotionally
spiritually

it's time to take care of the crap