Worn, but not out

I am a fighter by nature
this morning I wanted to be a slug
but I despise slugs with a passion
so I considered going into sloth mode
I asked Ruth if those were options and she said "it's your choice"
I also want to feel better physically which means I need to walk daily
so I laced up my Merrell's that are falling apart and started stepping
I have been doing 6,500-7,000 steps every morning
today I cut my path short and celebrated the 4,000ish I got in


the job I get paid for is cleaning our church building
it needs to be done Thursday, Friday or Saturday
I had big plans to do it yesterday but...
I had a porch swing and grandkids and new puppies to keep company
after my walk today I sat on the swing thinking about what else I needed to do
awww, cleaning the church can wait one more day, right? 
the problem is, I knew it wouldn't be any more appealing tomorrow
so off I went to put more steps on those ratty Merrell's
I'd like to be able to say I enjoyed it after I got there, but that would be a lie

this evening at 6:35 a friend texted me
"how are you today?"
Staci is one of my friends I don't have to measure my words with
I can talk bluntly, knowing she is not going to worry about me
she is not going to judge my emotional state and try to "fix it"
she is simply going to listen
so I told her about the slug and sloth ideas
and that I ignored both and had 14,501 steps in
she called me a conqueror

our conversation continued:
"I miss Bill"
"And I don't feel like I think a conqueror should feel"
she replied:
"You probably don't. But a conqueror even so."
I needed that.
I needed to be reminded:
   some days simply putting one foot in front of the other is a victory
   sometimes the truth is we are victors even if we feel beaten


tonight I want to say thank you to those who love me well:
you have held me when I was too broken to stand
you have cried with me 
you have celebrated with me
you have encouraged me when I am weary and worn, almost done in
how?
through your continued prayers on my behalf
through your random cards, texts, phone calls or FB messages
through the Truth you speak when I am too tired to see it myself

my life is richer because you are a part of it

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