the thrill of hope

it has been playing hide and seek with me for a month
stirring my soul, deep down
unidentified, yet familiar
and when we sang Christmas Carols this morning I recognized it:
"a thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices!"

I have been more engaged in this Christmas season than I can remember being in a very long time. From wanting to put up the tree before Thanksgiving, unheard of in our home, to making 16 dozen cookies to share, a small number compared to long ago, but a huge number considering I haven't made that many in the last several years combined, to pulling out, displaying and enjoying the village Bill had so much fun putting out. 

This week especially my heart has been hanging on the edge of pleasant anticipation. And this morning I realized it was the thrill of hope. Hope, joy and peace have been constant companions through these last six difficult years. But the thrill of hope-not so much. And I do not know why it is that my heart is experiencing this difference, but I am thankful for it. Maybe part of it is because I have been practicing giving and receiving one of the most precious gifts there is this side of heaven. The gift of presence over presents. It's a beautiful thing.