Joy and Sorrow

The older I get the more experience I have with the truth that joy and sorrow can and do coexist and that the balance changes. Sometimes arbitrarily. 

Long, long ago, way back in the last century, I had my first opportunity to celebrate Bill's birthday with him. July 21,1977. We were engaged and would be married just a few weeks later. His mom or Grandma Benedick would have made German Chocolate cake, his favorite.

July 21,1978 would've been the first time I was responsible for his cake. I tried, but my German Chocolate didn't quite match up. Of course, Bill wouldn't have said a negative word, he would have just smiled and thanked me and ate it.

July 21,1980 we celebrated as a family of four. Elizabeth and Sarah were born in April.

July 21,1983 there were five of us because we'd welcomed Deborah in May.

July 21,1987 there were six of us. Jonathan had joined our family in May. It was the last birthday we spent in Akron because the first weekend in July 1988 we moved to Grayson.

July 21,1989 there were seven of us. Andrew was three weeks old.

July 21,1992 there were almost eight of us. Ruth was born in September.

July 21, 1998 is a blur. There should have been nine of us soon, but I'd miscarried.

So many years.

So many memories.

So much joy and happiness, some sorrow and sadness.

Somewhere along the line Bill's favorite changed from German Chocolate to Strawberry with Strawberry ice cream on the side.

 

Fast forward to June 2014. The year he was turning 60 and his mom also had a significant birthday. The Bondurant crew came together at a waterpark to celebrate. So much joy. So much celebrating. So much thankfulness for the lives and influence of these two special people.

July 21, 2014. 60 years old. The kids were spread all over. It was just him and me to celebrate. We didn't know it would be his last birthday.

July 21, 2015. Still Bill's birthday. Still a day worth celebrating. But the sorrow of him not being here was deep and heavy. I wanted to ignore the day.  There was no cake of any flavor. There were a lot of tears. There was some joy. There was no happiness.

July 21, 2022. Still Bill's birthday. A day that still holds sorrow, but is much more filled with joy and there's even a bit of happiness and a whole lot of thankfulness for Bill's life and the influence he had on those who had the privilege to know him.