this was not the plan
Monday 7/4/2022
"This is not where I planned to be..."
as I sat on my back porch futon,
Crayola markers and coloring journal in hand,
on the page with the least amount to color,
these were the words I began my journaling with.
To be perfectly transparent,
I hadn't intended to write anything when I retrieved these supplies.
I was looking for an escape from thinking.
I felt like I couldn't read more more word in a book.
I couldn't play one more mindless game on my computer.
So I turned to coloring.
I opened the box.
Whatever color fell out was the color I used.
When the flower was done
I looked at the open lines and began...
"This is not where I planned to be..."
My long weekend was supposed to be spent with friends.
Dealing with some Lyrica issues on top of exposure to COVID Thursday nixed those plans.
My body is in Grayson,
my mind is in Harrodsburg,
my heart is spread across the globe.
"This is not where I planned to be."
They are words with a much deeper, much broader application than I have been willing to consciously acknowledge. They are words that have caused me to stop and look at where circumstances and situations have placed me. They are words that are calling me to a reckoning of my faith.
"This is not where I planned to be."
But where I am does not take my Creator by surprise.
The One who loves me completely is with me wherever I find myself.
I choose to trust He knows what He is doing.
Even when I cannot see His hand at work,
I will trust His heart.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding;
in all your ways know Him, and He will make your paths straight."
Proverbs 3:5-6
Totally get this, I didn’t plan to be where I am either! My daughter and son in law divorced over a 2+ years. It’s been challenging to say the least! As a grandma, I watched my beautiful grandson, Harold at 1st almost all the time. Then it went to half. Now I’m lucky when I get to see him one time a week!
ReplyDeleteI definitely didn’t see this coming! I prayed all the time for my babies! I knew this wasn’t my fight either. Grandparents voice aren’t heard in court very much…This was all a God situation! On me, my faith has definitely been challenged. My dependence on God has been in the mix too! If I say I love God, prove it! Pray for those that don’t have your best interest but their own selfishness. I’m tested and challenged in this situation a lot.
But I learned to trust God! I have a deeper relationship with him because of this situation. Regardless of how the others feel, I’ve learned to be vulnerable an very human…There has been so many blessings that have can about too!
I never thought I’d be here either!
(Enjoyed this❤️)