sometimes waking up is hard to do

I woke up sad this morning
I don't like when that happens
I have two puppies that sleep inside at night,
but they need to be let out in the morning so I couldn't stay in bed
I got up and let them out,
there was nothing stopping me from going back to bed-
so that's where I went

I was missing Bill
and thinking about his birthday in two weeks
and our 40th anniversary in four weeks and one day
and knowing that on his birthday I will helping the Davies load a moving van
and two days later we will be heading west
and I know what is coming after that
I already have a daughter living not in driving distance away

I did not want to "do life" today
I was feeling overwhelmed alongside the sad
I leave for camp Sunday
before I go the lawn needed to be mowed
the weed eating needed done
the church needed cleaned
and I am not settled with my power point

I laid there awhile
pushed back the covers
put one leg over the side of the bed
then the other
stood
opened the curtains and blinds
and left my room-the first battle of the day was won

I made breakfast
took it, my Bible, my journal and prayers sheets to the back porch swing
took my tired, weary self to Jesus
(there is a distinct difference between tired and weary)
and poured it all out to Him
then claimed His promised found in Matthew 11:28
 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."

after sitting in His presence for a bit I finished my coffee
took my breakfast dishes inside
put them in the dishwasher
went back outside and got the lawn mower out
mowed the lawn
did the weed eating
stayed hydrated and headed back to the porch swing for rests

after sitting there awhile when I was finished to cool down
I got back up, headed out to church and got busy cleaning
about halfway through sat on the front left church pew and ugly cried
slid down to my knees and cried some more
finished, got back up and completed my work
on the way home I had the feeling that either this was a dream
or life with Bill was a dream and I am going to wake up 

when I got home I had plans to sit on that porch swing  until bedtime
a storm chased me inside
I brought the dogs, all three, in with me
this storm has the possibility of 60mph winds
they were frightened
I couldn't stand the thoughts of them being in possible danger
so here we are, all safe inside

I've worked on my PowerPoint
and am feeling better about it
made a smoothie for dinner
and thought about how faithful God is
I took all of my brokenness to Him this morning and laid it at His feet
He took it and gave me what I needed so I could do what I had to do today
He's a good, good Father

biblegateway.com's verse of the day which I found while writing is perfect:

"As for God, His way is perfect: 

The Lord’s word is flawless; 

He shields all who take refuge in him." 

Psalm 18:30