sometimes I want to believe the lie

I keep thinking that nothing else can happen that I haven't already faced. And I continue to be proven wrong. Twice in the span of just a few hours today I was in that weird place of thinking Bill was near. I have been there before, just never back to back. This morning, I don't even remember where I was or what I was doing, but I looked up and for a long moment fully expected to see him walking toward me, because it felt like that was what should be happening. This afternoon I caught a glimpse of a person standing in the parking lot across from the side street I was pulling out of. Something about their posture made me crane my neck and do a double take. Then I took an extra look to make sure what my eyes were seeing was real. My heart said "it's Bill!" My head was screaming the truth. I wanted to believe the lie.