59 and counting

Jonathan and Jess cooking my birthday lunch. It was yummy!

Saturday was a big day for me. 
I began my last year in the 50's. 
I spent last week taking inventory .
Remembering the past.
Searching the present.
Peering at the future.
I came to a conclusion.

60 is not as old as I thought it was.

I also realized I am slowly getting more comfortable with who I am.
As me.
Not as Bill's wife.
Not as my children's mom.
Not as a grandmother.
Not as "KCC/KCU mom"
As me. 

And I like me.

Don't get me wrong.
I have not reached the maturity I long for,
but I see that I am growing:
in confidence that I can make wise decisions
in being okay with not having a contingency plan for all of the "what if's"
in realizing that I need to figure out what I like to do for fun...
and make plans accordingly and not accept any false guilt.

Look out 60's. I have a whole year to keep growing. I'll be coming in strong.