4 Bill tears

Ruth lost a bet the summer of 2011 which led to her playing soccer at KCU. She had enjoyed playing in Middle School and High School but had no interest in continuing her career at the collegiate level. When we found out she would be playing, I was excited, but anxious. Bill was not sure, because of work, if he would be able to travel to all of her away games. I did not want to miss any of her games and was very sure I had no business driving long distances by myself late at night. KCU hired a new coach. Young, single, male. Coach needed a "chaperone". If he picked me I would get to travel with the team which would be good for Bill's peace of mind. Lucky me, I was chosen and my KCU Soccer mom career began. 

Ruth suffered an injury her freshman year. It required surgery in August 2012 and prevented her from playing her Sophomore year. She still hung around the team, so I did too, anticipating her return to play her junior year. She married Kyle December 29, 2012. That ended her Collegiate soccer career. Not because she was married, but because they moved to Lexington in May 2013. 

2012 is also the year that a new KCU men's coach was hired. He was the twin brother of the man who coached the Women's team. The question began as soon as he was hired. "Hey, do you want to be the men's mom too?" "No, but thank you for asking" was my answer. 

There was a repeat button on that question. The guys and girls travelled together several times a season as well as playing back to back at some home games. Some of the guys began calling me mom. We were becoming a soccer family. When the question "Do you want to be the Men's team mom for the fall?" came in the summer of 2014, Bill and I prayed about it. The answer was "Yes, it is time." I was tentative, nervous, not sure how it would work. My concerns were quickly put to rest. The young men from that 2014 team have a special place in my heart. 

Just a few weeks after that decision was made, Bill died. At the calling hours my birthed kids came to me and asked "who are those groups of boys?" "My soccer guys" was my response. The men's team, by design or chance, I never asked, had come through intermittently in groups of 5 or 6 at a time. 

Friday night as I looked at the jerseys laid out, and again today as I saw them hanging on the fence my heart was filled, not because the jerseys are anything spectacular, but because of the young men who wear them. Before today's game the captain came to me, leaned in close and said "Mom, I don't want to make you emotional, but look at this throw back captain's band." It was from 2015, the first year Jack was captain. It took me back to the first weekend they played that season.

That weekend was the one year "anniversary" of Bill's death.
I was sitting on the sidelines when one of them came to get me.
When we arrived where the team had been warming up this happened:
"Mom, come here, in the center. We just want you to know that we love you...we are thankful for everything you do for us and the way you are there for us. We know this weekend might be hard for you. We want you to know we are here for you as family...we want to be there for you. And we are dedicating this weekend to playing for Bill. We have arm bands we will be wearing...we think he would be happy to see this family around you..." They gave me one of those bands. It is in my dresser.

Jack wrote 4 Bill on his captains band. And kept it, even though it isn't the one he uses. It's hitting me hard tonight. This season is the last one any of the boys who were on that first team will play for KCU. They and other seniors are the last group of KCU students that would have had the opportunity to meet Bill. Monday night is Senior night. I hope it isn't as ugly as tonight has been.