raw and tender heart

truth is, 
I love my big crazy family.
and it is strange to live alone.
and sometimes it is harder to think about the good I have in my everyday life
than it is to be aware of the good that is missing from it.

and when the missing of the good craziness of what life was
threatens to choke out the good craziness of what life is,
as it has decided to do in increasing measure today,
when my heart is more raw and tender than normal,
and grief tries to steal my joy and contentment,
when tears threaten, 
but won't fall and provide relief,
I run to the healer of my soul,
throw the pain and ugly at Him, 
knowing He is more than big enough to take it,
and wait for the awareness of His presence to embrace and comfort me.
He has never failed me.
He never will.

My heart is safe with Him.