advice

There are three particular conversations I will not forget.

I was pregnant with our sixth child.
A woman I went to church with was walking up the stairs at the same time I was.
"I heard you are pregnant again."
"Yes, I am."
"Well, I guess it is okay, since you take care of them."

Really?
We rarely speak and that is what you have to say to me?

I had just miscarried our seventh baby.
I was sitting in the cafeteria at KCC trying to go on with life.
A professor whose specialty was "family" came stopped at our table.
"I am so sorry. I don't know what to say."

Twenty minutes of listening confirmed his original diagnosis.
He did not know what to say.
He should have left after saying that and gone on with his day.

It was one of the few times I went to church this summer.
One of the two greeters asked how I was.
I shared my struggle with them.
"I know what your problem is. You haven't found your purpose yet."

Really?
The most we ever talk is saying hello and perhaps comment on the weather as I come into church.
I went, sat down and shook my head.

I am fifty three years old.
I know what my purpose is.
It is to continue to have a living, active, growing relationship with the Lord.
My purpose includes sharing what I know about Him with others-
to be salt in the world so others get thirsty for the Living Water ,
to allow the Light of the world to shine through me and dispel the darkness,
and to love as He loves me.

These three incidents have taught me some valuable things.
Following is some advice I try to follow so I am not on the giving end of such awkward conversations.

1. Think before I speak.
2. Silence and a hug are often more valuable than words.
3. Offering an unsolicited answer to a problem is not wise nor caring.
4. Sometimes the best thing to do is simply walk away.