yesterday, today and tomorrow,
yesterday, summed up in one word: whew.
Pain. Everywhere. Weighted. My head hurt. My arms felt like I was carrying cement blocks. My legs felt like they were filled with lead, wading through quicksand. My chest ached. Breathing was a matter of one long, deep sigh after another. And tired. Oh. My. Word. Exhausted doesn't do it justice.
It may sound like the flu, or some dreaded virus, but it wasn't. I knew, from experience, that no matter how much sleep I got, I would still be weary. And there is no medicine that could relieve the pain. I didn't need a trip to the doctor, I could self-diagnose this. It was a flare up of deep mourning.
today, summed up in one word: whew.
Relief. Less of a headache, lighter arms and legs. My heart felt better and breathing was much more normal. It's a cycle and the flare ups, though still severe, are fewer now almost three and half years after Bill's death. There is more time between the debilitating attacks. Or maybe I've just developed a stronger tolerance and don't notice the symptoms until something triggers an all out ambush.
tomorrow, summed up in one word: whew.
Because I am one of God's children I face it without fear. Content. My Father knows what is going on. Confident. He will continue to give me what I need when I need it. Peaceful. Trusting Him, I live in unparalleled peace. Loved. Grounded in the truth that I am loved deeply and lavishly. Provided for abundantly. Protected fiercely. I refuse to worry about what tomorrow may bring because I know Who holds me and He is aware of anything coming my way. He has me covered.
Pain. Everywhere. Weighted. My head hurt. My arms felt like I was carrying cement blocks. My legs felt like they were filled with lead, wading through quicksand. My chest ached. Breathing was a matter of one long, deep sigh after another. And tired. Oh. My. Word. Exhausted doesn't do it justice.
It may sound like the flu, or some dreaded virus, but it wasn't. I knew, from experience, that no matter how much sleep I got, I would still be weary. And there is no medicine that could relieve the pain. I didn't need a trip to the doctor, I could self-diagnose this. It was a flare up of deep mourning.
today, summed up in one word: whew.
Relief. Less of a headache, lighter arms and legs. My heart felt better and breathing was much more normal. It's a cycle and the flare ups, though still severe, are fewer now almost three and half years after Bill's death. There is more time between the debilitating attacks. Or maybe I've just developed a stronger tolerance and don't notice the symptoms until something triggers an all out ambush.
tomorrow, summed up in one word: whew.
Because I am one of God's children I face it without fear. Content. My Father knows what is going on. Confident. He will continue to give me what I need when I need it. Peaceful. Trusting Him, I live in unparalleled peace. Loved. Grounded in the truth that I am loved deeply and lavishly. Provided for abundantly. Protected fiercely. I refuse to worry about what tomorrow may bring because I know Who holds me and He is aware of anything coming my way. He has me covered.
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