fairy tales and tears

When I was at Hobby Lobby the other night these were hanging on an end cap and they caught my eye. I had to purchase them for several different reasons. 

I am drawn to small collectible items and pretty glassware regardless of size. These are Bill's favorite color. They are miniature bottles with tiny, tiny corks. They are glass. Beautiful. What's not to love? Obviously I needed them.

The fairy tale tag. I have always had a fascination with stories. Reading them. Writing them. Sharing them. 
When Bill and I began dating it was like a fairy tale come true. A story I had written in my mind, over and over again, began to unfold. Not long after we got engaged I thought our relationship was over, as I handed Bill my ring and watched him walk away through my tears. I knew it was a dream too good to last. I was convinced he deserved someone better. However the unexpected happened. Within a few days he returned the ring to my finger with a vow of his love and commitment in spite of an ugly truth I had revealed from my past. My fairy tale became a reality and happy tears fell. Our life story certainly had its ups and downs, twists and unexpected turns, but I was certain it was a happily ever after, until we die story. Turns out it was until death. His just came before mine. That's not the ending I had written.


Why was it so important to own these? To share them?

One of the specific things that crossed my mind when I saw the bottles was a verse from Psalms which led to the next thought; "I need these, I don't care how much they cost I have to have them. There are three: one for me, one for _________ and the third will find its home." 

In Psalm 56:8 is a verse that has meant a lot to me over the years, especially since Bill's death.

"You have kept count of my tossings;

    put my tears in Your bottle.

    Are they not in Your book?"

To put my tears in His bottle God has to be paying attention to what I am going through. He has to be close to me. That comforts me. These would serve as a visual reminder. The friend I wanted to share one of the bottles with is a new Christian and a recent widow. I knew I would not be able to clearly and concisely explain, so I did a google search about the meaning behind tears in a bottle. Following is a commentary I printed off to share with her.

Question: "What does it mean that God collects our tears in a bottle?"

Answer: While in the custody of his enemies, David wrote, “You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle” (Psalm 56:8, ESV). David was going through a difficult time. He begins this sad psalm with the words “Be gracious to me, O God, for man tramples on me; all day long an attacker oppresses me” (Psalm 56:1, ESV). The Philistines had captured David in Gath—David was, at the time he wrote this psalm, a prisoner of war, and he had reason to cry and be sorrowful. David says that his struggles are recorded in God’s book (verse 8), and he asks God to put his tears in His bottle. What does this poetic language mean? Does God really have a bottle where all our tears go? Are the events of our lives really written in a book?

The idea behind the keeping of “tears in a bottle” is remembrance. David is expressing a deep trust in God—God will remember his sorrow and tears and will not forget about him. David is confident that God is on his side. He says, in the midst of this troubling time, “This I know, God is for me” (Psalm 56:9, ESV) and “In God I trust; I shall not be afraid. What can man do to me?” (verse 11, ESV). God may not have an actual bottle where our tears are kept or a literal book where sorrows are recorded, but He nonetheless remembers all the things that happen in our lives, including the suffering endured for His sake. In fact, there are many instances in Scripture of God’s recognition of man’s suffering. God is a tender-hearted Father to us, a God who feels with us and weeps with us (Exodus 3:7; John 11:33–35).

The fact that God remembers us and our sufferings should be very comforting. Often, obedience and following Jesus create suffering in our lives. This should not be a surprise. Jesus spoke on multiple occasions of the suffering that accompanies discipleship. Jesus warned, “Everyone will hate you because of me” (Luke 21:17; cf. Matthew 24:9; Mark 13:13; Matthew 10:22). The Lord said that Paul would be shown “how much he must suffer for my name” (Acts 9:16). Loss—even when that loss is a result of obedience to God—creates real suffering and real tears. But God remembers our sufferings and has promised to more than compensate (Matthew 19:29).

Our tears are not futile. God knows each of His children intimately, and every tear we shed has meaning to Him. He remembers our sorrow as if He kept each tear in a bottle. In the end, He will share His joy with us when “‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away” (Revelation 21:4).

My tiny blue bottle has found its home on a sign that sits in my kitchen windowsill. I placed a quarter next to it tonight for comparison. The quarter will stay, laying flat next to the bottle. Three beautiful testaments to Truth, not a fairy tale. 

• I can be still and I can know God. When I am still, it is easier to call to mind the truths I know and grow even closer to Him. 
• In God I trust. It too is a daily growing thing. 
• It is beautiful to know God loves me. He sees my tears, He cares, He comforts. And one day there will be no need for bottles.