growing pains

as I came awake Thursday morning three thoughts came in quick succession:

1. oh no! I slept really late
2. I wonder what Bill will want for lunch
3. oh... no, Bill won't be eating lunch with me today

as I went to the mailbox I wondered if there would be any "real" mail

1. I found junk mail addressed to one of my kids
2. I found an update from missionary friends
3. I found a "letter" addressed to Bill. The win: I did not burst into tears

as I walked into church to clean yesterday afternoon I sighed:

1. somedays, I really would rather not do this job
2. but, doing this job let's me travel
3. so, I will smile and pray as I empty trash, scrub sinks and toilets, as I dry Swiffer, then mop and end with vacuuming

as I pulled weeds in the raspberry patch last evening I thought:

1. I just did this not long ago
2. I wish I didn't have to do it again-why do weeds have to grow? 
3. this isn't a "once and done" job-living and growing things require attention

then my mind went all "spiritual" on me

1. this is like my thoughts/frustrations/anger
2. I can and should take care of them as I notice them, when they are just "little things"
3. when I ignore them they grow out of control quickly and can easily choke out the good, healthy thoughts that are growing

So as I ended the day I prayed as I pulled, asking God to be the Gardener of my heart. To make me mindful of the beauty He is growing in my life. To cause my eyes to focus on the life He allows me to live, on the things that are right in front of me that I might not overlook them. To point out weeds I am ignoring, or have a difficult time seeing or identifying. I requested that He prune what needed pruning. (I did not ask for fertilizer though. I figure enough "crap" happens I don't need to ask for more 😄)

“I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful." John 15:1-2 NIV