Scars

Believe it or not, this looks good. The angry red around the blisters has faded to light pink around most of them, and is non existent in a few places. The swelling has almost completely resolved itself. As I was looking at it today I thought "that might leave a scar or two." 

All from doing a good deed. From trying to protect those I love. Willing to sacrifice my comfort so others wouldn't suffer. (Those are the kind of things things I told myself initially. And they are partially true.) 

But, pondering this afternoon has made me admit to myself that there is more to it than those honorable ideals. A lot of that consequence comes from not taking the time to research and properly identify what I thought might be an issue before diving into the process. Stubbornness and pride played a part. As did my unwillingness to ask for a long sleeved shirt and forging ahead without taking time to fully count the cost. 

I wish this was the only thing in my life that might or has left a scar that could have been avoided. But the sad truth is, it isn't. I am my own worst enemy. I hope this teaches me to slow down. Do my homework. Be willing to research. To ask for advice. To not fully commit before being informed. To take precautions I am aware I should take. To count the cost of the consequences of my choices.

Some scars are unavoidable.

Some I ask for.

I don't want to hide or deny my scars, because each one is a testament to a battle I have fought, a wound I have received and healed from. But I am confident, from experience, that life will hand me enough without willingly subjecting myself to more.