tears of sorrow, tears of joy

1:11 AM as I begin to write 
2:41  AM as I post this
means it is late, late Saturday night
or it is early, early Sunday morning
it all depends on your perspective

my heart is full
and my eyes keep filling
as I sit alone in the family room
and savor memories
old ones, 
new ones, 
ones we talk about making 

I am thankful 

• for a family that loves one another 
• for each child, spouse and grandchild I call mine
• they want to spend time together
• for sacrifices made so we have time with one another
• we have one more day before Deborah and family go back

I just had a flashback to when Deborah and David first went overseas. It was just the two of them. They were going to study in Hungary. Bill and I were at the airport seeing them off. They were on the other side of the divide. David's mom was at the airport also. She has children all over the world, and is experienced at this stuff, so as she hugged me I asked her through my tears; "How can I be so proud and thankful, knowing they are doing what they need to do, and be so hurt at the same time?"  She held me, gently patted me on the back and said, "I know. I know." There were no other words to say. 

Just now I am in another bout of wrestling to find the balance between holding on and letting go. If we cross your mind in the next couple of days prayers would be appreciated. Especially for travelling mercies and for comfort. Saying see you later is never easy. This time they are taking three grandbabies with them and there is no Bill to share the transition with. Tears of joy and tears of sorrow jockey for position as they roll down my cheeks.

Last spring Andrew, Bre and I were able to go and visit Deborah,
David, Selah and Abigail. They found out they were expecting a son
a few days before we flew home. This is them seeing us off at the airport.