follow the leader 116/366

"Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ."

part of Paul's first letter to the believers in Corinth

1 Corinthians 11:1 

I am a Jesus follower.
I am a leader.

It scares me spitless because sometimes I am not following Jesus like I should.

I know what I am supposed to do.

I know what I am supposed to avoid.

But I am much more likely to identify with what Paul said in Romans 7:15 

" I do not understand what I do. 

For what I want to do I do not do, 

but what I hate I do. "

I find myself intolerant. Impatient. Grudge holding. 

I have a recent example that covers all of that in less than ten minutes.

Easter Sunday evening my phone rang. I glanced to see who it was and almost let it go to voicemail. The last time I answered a call from her this was the conversation:

me: a pleasant "Hello!"

her: a gnarly "Hang up. I am trying to call you on the other phone."

I was shocked and must have hesitated too long, because she repeated, "HANG UP!"

I sat shaking my head and wondering what in the world had just happened.

That was months ago. 

I could only imagine what this interaction would hold.

I was pleasantly surprised by the tone of voice on the other line. I was not so pleasant (in my mind) about missing part of an online concert that was starting. Nor about having the same conversation a dozen times with her in less than ten minutes.  After we said our goodbyes I was convicted. This woman does not know Jesus. She called me on the day we celebrate His resurrection from the dead. And I was too caught up in what I wanted to be doing, and still holding on to her last rude words, to be whole heartedly in the conversation. I definitely was not following Jesus' example.

I find other things trying to creep into my life

sometimes they take root before I know it and a battle ensues:

Anger

Jealousy

Judgmental attitudes

Selfishness

Unforgiving

Complaining

Not doing what I know I should be doing

On and on the list could go. 

I do not understand myself. 

What I want to do, 

I sometimes do not follow through with doing. 

What I don't want to do, 

I sometimes rush into doing.

"So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!" Romans 7:21-25

I am far from perfect.

I am trying to follow the One who is perfect.

So if you follow me, 

and I am not following Jesus-

that's on me, not Him.

Again, if you want to follow me, 

do so as long as I am following Jesus' example.

And when I deviate-

run as fast as you can the other way. 

Pausing only to pray for me,

and if appropriate,

in love call me into accountability.