March "In like a lion and out like a lamb". We can hope.

March...

I know this saying refers to the weather.

March begins while it is still winter 

and ends ushering in Spring.

Based on my emotions today I hope it is true for them as well.

It is always easier to start the day in a positive direction when sunshine and blue skies greet me like they did this morning when I opened the curtains and blinds in my room. Even if it is not warm there is healing in the sun shine.

I overestimated the warmth generated by the sun this morning and walked out of the house without a jacket. There was frost on my windshield I had to remove before I could drive safely so I scraped quickly. When I left chapel an hour later, there was no need for a jacket. 

Today I planned to run errands and do shopping I have been putting off for two weeks. The sunshine was a bonus. I happily drove to Ashland with my windows down. But it is still winter. Almost spring. And the weather acted like it. 

What began as beautiful blue skies and sunshine turned to dark, grey skies and rain. Intermittent at first, slowly it became steady. The wind that ushered in the clouds increased. The temperature dropped. I needed a jacket before I got home and was glad I had thrown one in the car at the last minute. 

It almost seems as if today's weather was trying to roll the premise of March all into one day. Only backwards. Coming in like a lamb, going out like a lion.

Tonight it is half as warm as it was this morning. Okay, it is cold. And wet. And windy. Almost miserably so. When it was time to go back out for indoor soccer practice tonight at 8 I did not want to leave the house. 

I love those kids. I have made a commitment to "be there" for them whenever I can. They were expecting me, but they can play without me. And I know that if they knew how I was feeling they would tell me to stay home. 

"What do I want more?"

My house is warm and dry. My couch is comfortable. I am tired from shopping. From making decisions and hard phone calls. I am on an emotional rollercoaster today. It is dark and cold and wet outside. I am done today.

"What do I want more?"

I want them to know, to see, to experience what love is, what it does. How can I help them see that if I only show up when it is easy or pleasant? So I put on a jacket, stepped out into the dark and went to watch them practice. 

I went because tonight I could act upon thIs truth: 

I cannot allow what I am feeling to over rule what I know I should do. 

Sometimes love requires me to do what is inconvenient. 

Sometimes love calls me out of my comfort zone. 

Sometimes love calls me out into the storm. 

I went because it was the right thing to do. 

 "So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.

James 4:17