breaking points

I thought I was past this breaking point.
The point that sorrow, out of nowhere, smacks you in the face.
I walked into the Nature's Health store to pick up something today.
The lady who helped me was someone I have never seen.
She was very knowledgable and helpful,
took me right to the product I needed,
explained there were two choices
and patiently waited beside me, making pleasant small talk,
as I awaited a response to a text verifying what I was there for.
When we got to the counter she asked if I had bought anything there before.
"No I haven't."
"Let me get your name and sign you up so you can get a discount."
"Okay. It is Donnette Bondurant"
D  o  n  n  e  t  t  e 
and I was suddenly at "that point".
Because I was taken back in time.
B o n  d u r  a n t
I was fearful of what she might ask when she typed in my last name.
I started swallowing, 
quickly and hard,
breathing deeply,
blinking back the tears.
She was not looking at me and I thought
"I am going to make it.
I AM going to make it out of this store before I break out in tears."
I didn't make it.
And as the tears rolled down my cheeks yet again
I explained that years ago 
the owner had helped my husband with a health issue.
"He died 18 months ago."
Quietly, this stranger kindly spoke words of truth into my life.
She was not at all frightened by my tears.
Rather, she comfortingly encouraged me to let them flow.
I did make it the car before the ugly hit.
I had a water bill to pay afterward.
There was no way to hide that I had been crying.
The lady who was available to take my payment is a friend.
"Chrissy, can I take Bill's name off and put mine on?"
I knew I did not have to explain the tears to her, she too is a widow.
"Yes, I will take care of that for you."

a great, deep, loving relationship, 

when severed,

leaves great big, deep, empty spaces

and makes you vulnerable

to ambushes

and when that happens to me

I run to the One who loves me most