when the dust settles...
the music at church this morning was beautiful and definitely brought me to a place of worship before God
Beautiful Things prompted tears as I thought about the progression from being consumed by pain to seeing the beautiful things God has brought out of the dust in my life, the beautiful things He is making in me and how He is making my life new.
Oceans is a good description for what my eyes wanted to let loose while we stood and sang, but I was able to keep it to a slow stream as I stood with my arm raised and had two flashbacks. The first was my introduction to the song-Bill running into the house and dragging me out to the car to listen with him when it first came out. It became one of his favorite songs. It was not at all unusual to go into his home office and hear him humming or singing it. The second was standing with arms raised at Bill's funeral while our daughter in law Bre and a friend, Bryce, led us in worship. I have been called out into the great unknown. I have found God to be faithful every time I call upon His name. He bids me keep my eyes above the waves, focused on Him. My heart is at rest as I rejoice that I am His. His grace amazes me, He has never failed and I know He never will.
Cornerstone was also a rerun from the funeral-tears, hand raised, affirming that Christ alone is my hope, and my strength. Darkness sometimes tries to hide His face, but I trust in His unfailing grace. He is my anchor through every storm. He is the cornerstone of my life. He is Lord of all. I am thankful that He is responsible for my well being.
As I drove to KCU for lunch the line "You make beautiful things, You make beautiful things out of dust" ran through my mind. After lunch I needed to go to Walmart for a few things and those words were on repeat...over and over and over they played. I was at Walmart for four and a half hours. Yes, 4 1/2 hours. Why? Not because my shopping list was that long, but because I didn't want to be home. And I was finding some cool things to take to the beach when our family goes this year.
I unloaded the car, walking slowly, I did not wear the right shoes to shop in and my feet were aching. Almost as deeply as my heart. I still did not want to be home alone. This morning I was thinking about all the beauty God was making out of the dust and this evening all I could see was the swirling dust. Not literal dust, though there is plenty of that in my home. No, I am talking about the dust that stirs when the enemy whispers his lies, when the house is too quiet to be comfortable, when the ache of missing loved ones looms larger than the thanksgiving that they are where they need to be. Some of that dust was trying hard to find a place to land and settle in for a long visit. I wrestled and cried for almost an hour before sending this text:
I am home now and once again able to think about the beautiful things God is doing in my life, contemplating how tears sometimes need to fall, reflecting on how tears are part of making beautiful things grow and thanking God for my sweet friend Amy and her family. I met Amy when Bill and I and our four kids moved to Grayson in 1988. We have shared many life moments. She has four children of her own now. But when our relationship began she was a middle schooler who lived in the house that sat behind the trailer we lived in our first year at KCC. She babysat for us occasionally. She got a bad sunburn once and I was able to help her. Roles were reversed tonight as she took care of me when I wasn't able to take care of myself.
P.S. Her husband, oldest daughter and oldest son were part of the worship band this morning. I began and ended my day with the same people, in two very different ways, pointing me toward Jesus. I love how God works.
Beautiful Things prompted tears as I thought about the progression from being consumed by pain to seeing the beautiful things God has brought out of the dust in my life, the beautiful things He is making in me and how He is making my life new.
Oceans is a good description for what my eyes wanted to let loose while we stood and sang, but I was able to keep it to a slow stream as I stood with my arm raised and had two flashbacks. The first was my introduction to the song-Bill running into the house and dragging me out to the car to listen with him when it first came out. It became one of his favorite songs. It was not at all unusual to go into his home office and hear him humming or singing it. The second was standing with arms raised at Bill's funeral while our daughter in law Bre and a friend, Bryce, led us in worship. I have been called out into the great unknown. I have found God to be faithful every time I call upon His name. He bids me keep my eyes above the waves, focused on Him. My heart is at rest as I rejoice that I am His. His grace amazes me, He has never failed and I know He never will.
Cornerstone was also a rerun from the funeral-tears, hand raised, affirming that Christ alone is my hope, and my strength. Darkness sometimes tries to hide His face, but I trust in His unfailing grace. He is my anchor through every storm. He is the cornerstone of my life. He is Lord of all. I am thankful that He is responsible for my well being.
As I drove to KCU for lunch the line "You make beautiful things, You make beautiful things out of dust" ran through my mind. After lunch I needed to go to Walmart for a few things and those words were on repeat...over and over and over they played. I was at Walmart for four and a half hours. Yes, 4 1/2 hours. Why? Not because my shopping list was that long, but because I didn't want to be home. And I was finding some cool things to take to the beach when our family goes this year.
I unloaded the car, walking slowly, I did not wear the right shoes to shop in and my feet were aching. Almost as deeply as my heart. I still did not want to be home alone. This morning I was thinking about all the beauty God was making out of the dust and this evening all I could see was the swirling dust. Not literal dust, though there is plenty of that in my home. No, I am talking about the dust that stirs when the enemy whispers his lies, when the house is too quiet to be comfortable, when the ache of missing loved ones looms larger than the thanksgiving that they are where they need to be. Some of that dust was trying hard to find a place to land and settle in for a long visit. I wrestled and cried for almost an hour before sending this text:
I am home now and once again able to think about the beautiful things God is doing in my life, contemplating how tears sometimes need to fall, reflecting on how tears are part of making beautiful things grow and thanking God for my sweet friend Amy and her family. I met Amy when Bill and I and our four kids moved to Grayson in 1988. We have shared many life moments. She has four children of her own now. But when our relationship began she was a middle schooler who lived in the house that sat behind the trailer we lived in our first year at KCC. She babysat for us occasionally. She got a bad sunburn once and I was able to help her. Roles were reversed tonight as she took care of me when I wasn't able to take care of myself.
P.S. Her husband, oldest daughter and oldest son were part of the worship band this morning. I began and ended my day with the same people, in two very different ways, pointing me toward Jesus. I love how God works.
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