using flashbacks to move forward
this post brought to you by recent flashbacks induced by football and baseball
In February we hired a new head football coach. I like him, the support staff he has hired and the culture changes he is initiating. I enjoy watching the team practice when I have the opportunity. Soccer was done early yesterday so I headed over to the stadium. I wasn't ready to head home alone. Every time I see KCU players on the field I have flashbacks to watching my football sons play. They are all several years post graduation now, but I still look for their numbers on the field and think, "wait, that isn't Jabriel...or Charles...or Caleb...or Rashad...or Christian...or Cody...or TJ...or..." I miss watching them play. I miss having them in my home. I miss cooking for them. I miss their hugs when they saw me on campus. So I am trying, not to replace them because that isn't going to happen, but I am trying to build new relationships.
Last evening I had a different experience as I sat in the stands. I had a flashback to when they were preparing the area for the turf to be put in. Tons and tons of dirt were brought in, leveled, repeat. Bill gave me daily updates. Often he would take me to see the progress. When it was finally completed he came home, took me to the field and insisted I walk on it. He was so proud. It is a beautiful addition to our campus. I miss being involved in his life and knowing the dreaming/planning that is going on to add programs, improve or build facilities, etc. at KCU but I still pray for those leading our institution.
This morning I made chicken pot pie to feed the football coaches lunch. That was a first for me. Not the cooking, but the feeding of coaches. As I prepared it I was taken back to meals around my table with players Andrew would bring to dinner every Monday night when he was a student at KCU. I miss having groups in my home. I plan to change that. Maybe a small group. Maybe a Bible Study. Something needs to begin happening around this table again.
Fantasy football has it's own set of memories that come to mind like a slide show. It is the only thing I can name that Bill did solely for his own enjoyment and relaxation. But boy was he serious about it. He used birthday money to buy Fantasy FB magazines, his multi layer spreadsheets for the draft, rushing home after church to set his lineup, his knack for winning the KCU league, the kids going as a group to the 2014 drafts at KCU and OG in his place. I miss joking with him about how I picked my players for the draft and lineup week by week (sometimes by favorite mascot, what color I liked best, which name sounded better-pure silliness) and how he picked his (there was a lot of thought and strategy on his part). I miss his intensity.
In February an announcement was made that KCU was bringing Baseball back. I was taken back to when we first moved to KCU in 1988. Baseball was one of our sports then. Bill was asked to help coach and his excitement was through the roof. We planned to have the team in our home for meals and fellowship. Circumstances changed and he was not able to coach, but we did enjoy watching them play. Each day this fall as I sit at the edge of the Bermuda field for soccer practice and glance left I see progress being made at the diamond. I think about how excited Bill would be and wonder if he would be part of the coaching staff if he was still here. I know he'd find a way to mentor those young men! I already plan to watch them play in the spring.
Today I heard that the Cleveland Indians have won 21 straight games. I can
see Bill's face lit up and animated as he talked about any of his Cleveland teams, but especially the Indians. Baseball was his sport. He played at Akron U. Each spring he was convinced "this is the year Cleveland is going to make it to the World Series". I think back to last year when they DID play in the World Series against the Cubs, how it went to seven games, and the emotions that accompanied that whole situation. I miss Bill's optimism. I remember his example and find myself looking for the good, convinced it's possible for things to be better "this time". It's an encouraging way to face the future.
In February we hired a new head football coach. I like him, the support staff he has hired and the culture changes he is initiating. I enjoy watching the team practice when I have the opportunity. Soccer was done early yesterday so I headed over to the stadium. I wasn't ready to head home alone. Every time I see KCU players on the field I have flashbacks to watching my football sons play. They are all several years post graduation now, but I still look for their numbers on the field and think, "wait, that isn't Jabriel...or Charles...or Caleb...or Rashad...or Christian...or Cody...or TJ...or..." I miss watching them play. I miss having them in my home. I miss cooking for them. I miss their hugs when they saw me on campus. So I am trying, not to replace them because that isn't going to happen, but I am trying to build new relationships.
 |
| Caleb, Jabriel, me, Bill, Rashad, Charles Dec. 2011 |
Last evening I had a different experience as I sat in the stands. I had a flashback to when they were preparing the area for the turf to be put in. Tons and tons of dirt were brought in, leveled, repeat. Bill gave me daily updates. Often he would take me to see the progress. When it was finally completed he came home, took me to the field and insisted I walk on it. He was so proud. It is a beautiful addition to our campus. I miss being involved in his life and knowing the dreaming/planning that is going on to add programs, improve or build facilities, etc. at KCU but I still pray for those leading our institution.
This morning I made chicken pot pie to feed the football coaches lunch. That was a first for me. Not the cooking, but the feeding of coaches. As I prepared it I was taken back to meals around my table with players Andrew would bring to dinner every Monday night when he was a student at KCU. I miss having groups in my home. I plan to change that. Maybe a small group. Maybe a Bible Study. Something needs to begin happening around this table again.
Fantasy football has it's own set of memories that come to mind like a slide show. It is the only thing I can name that Bill did solely for his own enjoyment and relaxation. But boy was he serious about it. He used birthday money to buy Fantasy FB magazines, his multi layer spreadsheets for the draft, rushing home after church to set his lineup, his knack for winning the KCU league, the kids going as a group to the 2014 drafts at KCU and OG in his place. I miss joking with him about how I picked my players for the draft and lineup week by week (sometimes by favorite mascot, what color I liked best, which name sounded better-pure silliness) and how he picked his (there was a lot of thought and strategy on his part). I miss his intensity.
 |
| 9/1/2014 Andrew, Beth, Sarah, Kyle, Ruth, Deborah, Jonathan each wearing one of Bill's shirts |
In February an announcement was made that KCU was bringing Baseball back. I was taken back to when we first moved to KCU in 1988. Baseball was one of our sports then. Bill was asked to help coach and his excitement was through the roof. We planned to have the team in our home for meals and fellowship. Circumstances changed and he was not able to coach, but we did enjoy watching them play. Each day this fall as I sit at the edge of the Bermuda field for soccer practice and glance left I see progress being made at the diamond. I think about how excited Bill would be and wonder if he would be part of the coaching staff if he was still here. I know he'd find a way to mentor those young men! I already plan to watch them play in the spring.
Today I heard that the Cleveland Indians have won 21 straight games. I can
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