backpacks and boulders

In Galatians 6 Paul talks about bearing one another's burdens (ie boulders) and each one being responsible for their own load (ie backpack). I've been thinking alot about backpacks today. I have one I pack for every soccer game. In it goes my hoodie, my coat, my external battery pack and charging cords, snacks, hand sanitizer, kleenex, ibuprofen, tylenol and my little pink mesh bag with "emergency" things-like a thermometer and disposable covers, nail clippers, folding scissors, bandaids, steristrips, eyeglass repair kit-you know, the stuff a mom might need. Away games require a few additional things. 

Last home game I started down the gravel path to the field with my backpack. About halfway to the field I thought I was going to have to call the trainer to come get me with the gator because I wasn't sure I was going to be able to finish the walk. My back started spasms and every step was questionable. I made it to the field, put down the backpack, took 800 mg of ibuprofen and by the time the games were over I was okay to carry it back. It helped that I had lightened the load by eating my snack stash.

Last away game I packed lighter and as a precaution let one of the boys carry my backpack to the minibus after the game. It had been a cold evening and spasms were definitely a possibility.

It is my backpack. 

I am responsible for it. 

I wrestled with saying yes when he asked me if I needed help.

But this time I let common sense win out over pride.

I spent Friday and Saturday, basically, on my couch.

Resting my back.

And as I sat, backpacks and boulders kept coming to mind. 

Loads and burdens. 

Burdens are things we have no control over. They show up in our life and try to take us out. People recognize we can't and shouldn't carry boulders on our own. We are not created to bear that kind of weight alone. 

Loads are the things we choose to shoulder. I decide what goes into my backpack. No one else has that privilege or responsibility. There are times in life when a "normal load" becomes a burden. And in those times I need to pack less. Agree to carry less. And if, in the middle of what is a normal load something happens that it becomes too much, it's ok to ask for help. I just need to be careful to not knowingly try and fit in more than I know I can carry. That isn't fair to anyone. 

So if you notice me doing less it is because I know that right now I am not strong enough to carry my normal full load. Everything I say "yes" to is a no to something else and everything I say "no" to allows me to say yes somewhere else. It is a humbling decision, but it is much healthier and more helpful for everyone.