time alone

 this is the Facebook reel look:

this is what I know I could muster up for company

this is my heart's real look:

why?

Because the last five weeks and two days have been filled with the company of one or more of my birthed kids. Today when Ruth, and then Beth, left my house the schedule for mom care (so I wasn't anywhere alone, doctor's orders) came to an end. There is no looking to see who is coming next. This may have been the first time in their lives we had extended time alone. It has been a sweet, invaluable gift.

Thursday was a post op visit. I was upgraded from China Doll status (extreme caution and care) to Baby Giraffe. I still have the same activity restrictions and still need a ton of help with regular, normal chores, but I am far enough along in my healing that I can be by myself as long as I have my phone with me and have a list of people I can call so someone could be with me in minutes if need be. When I asked what 'baby giraffe" status meant the reply was "no falls". So I will continue to take it slow. I will continue to make smart choices. I will be swallowing my pride and asking for help. 

And I will miss my kids. 

from hospital:

to home, 

they've made sure I'm well taken care of

cooking

cleaning

mowing

chauffeuring

chilling

laughing

and more