THE holidays are coming...

I have been thinking a lot about the holidays this weekend,

where I would be, 

who I would be with, when,

which means memories of holidays past abounded too.

Maybe that helps explain today.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; 

for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

the last day I spent with Bill was August 29, 2014
How many days ago... 800 days*
How many weeks ago... 114 weeks*
How many months ago... 26 months*
translates to two years + two months + one week + two days ago
no matter how you count it, it has been a while
(*calculation credits go to howlongagogo.com)

and yet today,
after I enjoyed lunch at KCU with Ruth and her family
as I walked to my car,
I used the remote to unlock it
and automatically walked toward the passenger side 
it's fuzzy, I don't know if I reached the door or just the front quarter panel
before I shook my head to awaken my brain-Bill is not here to drive 

I don't remember the last time that happened
and the experience has served me well this afternoon
it made me realize how incredibly deep rooted habits can become
it reminded me of the importance of saying "I love you" every chance I get
it motivates me to be thankful for the time I get to spend with loved ones
it encourages me to focus on what I have, not what I don't have
it challenges me to be careful about the habits I cultivate

"THE" holidays are quickly approaching
I have, for years, approached them tentatively
and Bill was always over the top excited about them
today has served as motivation to consider what I want to do and not do
I already have plans to attend one new event
this evening my heart is stirring with a fresh excitement
the eagerness I sense growing is kind of weird... but I think I might like it  

All I want for Christmas
is for my friends and family
to know how much I love them and,
more importantly,
how much they are loved by God.

Matthew 1:18-25

"Now the birth of Jesus Christ took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit. And her husband Joseph, being a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, resolved to divorce her quietly. But as he considered these things, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, 'Joseph, son of David, do not fear to take Mary as your wife, for that which is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will bear a son, and you shall call His name Jesus, for He will save His people from their sins.' All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had spoken by the prophet:

'Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son,                                             and they shall call His name Immanuel' 

(which means, God with us.) When Joseph woke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him: he took his wife, but knew her not until she had given birth to a son. And he called His name Jesus."