sometimes Friday is not friendly

often I am tired

sometimes I am sad

usually I take it in stride

I have become accustomed to the "light cardigan" of grief I now wear

but it has been awhile since Friday has treated me like today has 

in spite of it being a warm, sunny day full of reasons to be happy

the longer the afternoon wore on the sadder I have become

I tried porch swinging the sad off

I tried outside puttering the sad out 

at 4 PM I wanted to find a cave to crawl into

one that was stocked with creamy ice cream and gooey caramel sauce

and a side of rich chocolate filled with buttery, chewy caramel

complete with a soft, fuzzy blanket on a comfy seat in front of a fire

instead I laced up my walking shoes and put three miles on them

here it is, Friday, in all of it's glory and promise

and here I am in all of my brokenness

fighting against taking the bricks that weigh me down 

to build a wall

I am tired 

I am sad

I am tired of being sad

as I walked the chorus of a song was on repeat in my head,

stirring my heart

I tried and couldn't shake it off or replace it so I embraced it, 

knowing even in the darkness and storms, 

there is cause to praise Him

it's a choice,

not a feeling

this morning on my way to the dentist at 10:30 AM I saw the moon 

it was large and beautiful but not very bright

this morning I thought tonights post was going to be about the moon-

how it's beauty is best seen as it reflects the sun in the darkness

it was pretty in the daylight, but not very effective...

I had forgotten about this until after I wrote what is above...

perhaps it is still relevant and dovetails, I will let you be the judge

the moon is there,
above the tall tree to the left of the sign
but it is barely discernable

on the other hand,
there is no hiding it in this picture
taken Wednesday night