boat hair

boat hair

As I rode in the passenger seat of Smitha's vehicle to Grayson Lake I couldn't help but think of the last time I was there with Bill. It, like today (Tuesday), involved people from KCU and a boat ride. I swallowed hard and prayed. I wanted to make new memories with the group I was spending the afternoon with. Not to replace memories of time there with Bill, but to add them in their own right, without being distracted or weighed down by sadness.

Three families of four students each. That is how the group was split up. That is how the rides would occur as part of team building. I am not on a team, I am simply "Mom". Team 1 left for their ride. Teams B and 3 began playing games. Kan-Jam and Bocce Ball were, hands down, the favorites. 

As the games began one of the girls asked, "Mom, why aren't you on the boat?" My flippant reply was honest. "I wasn't invited".

While that was the truth, it was not the whole story. Her immediate reply,  "You can go with our team!" made me realize my answer may have been misunderstood but I didn't know how to fix it or quickly explain. It is not that I was being excluded from the fun. Before we left for the lake I didn't ask where my "place" for this afternoon was. As mom I do a lot of sitting on the sidelines listening, observing, praying. I enjoy just being there. But I didn't communicate all of that. 

When the B team headed toward the dock, I stood from my place at the picnic table and walked down with them. I am not fond of getting on and off a boat. I am always concerned that I will clumsily fall off the side into the water. I haven't so far, but there's a first time for almost everything.

Tubing for the students was part of the boat ride today. Watching them was fun. As I sat in my jeans and t shirt I with the wind whipping past me I wondered how in the world the kids in their swimming gear, especially after taking their turn in the water, were not freezing. When I got cold I slipped on the jacket I was thankful I'd grabbed. As rain intermittently pelted my face my thought process took a weird turn.

"I am thankful I am not comfortable right now. I am glad I can feel the cold wind. I am thankful for the sting of the rain on my face. I am thankful I am not sitting safe on the sidelines under a shelter. I am thankful to be here, exposed, where I can FEEL. Choosing to live in constant comfort can be very dangerous. Sometimes I need to get out and be stretched, be uncomfortable to know just how incredibly rich life is..."

Boat Hair, while not incredibly attractive, is now one of my favorite styles.