dates

May 28th is the day we celebrate the birth of my first born son, Jonathan

his name means "God's gift"

and while I believe each one of my children are a gift,

his birth was the most precarious,

and when I celebrate it is with a fuller awareness of the preciousness of life

he had a prolapsed cord-

translation-

he almost didn't make it into this world alive

his birth required an emergency c-section

my doctor held him up in the birth canal until they could deliver him

the student nurse assigned to me during labor scared Bill-

when she went to tell him there was a problem, she told him

"this is serious, we could lose your wife

...and your child"

May 28 was Sunday

Jonathan and his family were out of town so I sent him a text

the day was filled with busyness

I called mom Bondurant near 10 PM to check on her

her blood pressure had been high all day

she had a headache

both things she has experienced since her stroke

at 11:21 PM I got a call from my sister in law, Cheryl

"they are taking mom to the hospital by ambulance"

I immediately began praying

"Lord, no...

please, don't take her

especially today, on Jonathan's birthday

and not tomorrow since Bill died on the 29th of the month

I also asked "why? "

"why do these life disrupting things happen at time like this?"

I did pray for those taking care of her medical needs

but honestly, I did more begging that we wouldn't lose her yet

I asked Cheryl to keep me updated,

it didn't matter what time it was,

she asked if I was sure, I assured her I was positive-

please call or text with information

I texted the kids so they would know and pray

I received and sent several texts throughout the night

I must have been in a deep sleep when she sent the last one at 3:59 AM

they had released mom and she was back home

it was a wonderful message to read when I woke up

we are still in camp team training

Sunday was our day off

we were back at it Monday, bright and early

I kept my phone in my pocket,

explained to the leader why I might have to step out 

and prayed, prayed, prayed

when I had a break that evening I called mom to check on her

she told me her blood pressure when the paramedics arrived it was 215/97

I'm no doctor, but I know that was not good

this is the week we go to a camp in Ohio to finish up our training

there is about a 1% chance there will be enough service to use your phone

as I was trying to decide what to do-

whether to stay home or go on to camp Tuesday

I was transported back to last year

when Ruth came into Monday morning's session with tears

to tell me Willow was being life flighted to Lexington Children's hospital

last year Sarah told me, "Go with the camp teams"

I knew if I asked mom she would say, "Go with the camp teams"

so here I am a year later,

same place, 

different group,

same prayer,

"Lord, use me as You will, 

please keep me from being distracted

and please, 

don't take my loved one home yet.

And if I need to receive a call, please let it come through."