joy comes in the morning

sometimes I think if I could just close my eyes tight enough
I could keep the tears from falling
so far it hasn't worked 
a wild guess says
it never will

today I miss Bill clear down to my bone marrow
and tonight as I sit in the dark the tears won't stop rolling
I tried closing my eyes again, 
tighter than I ever have,
it still doesn't work

I know that tomorrow will, if history repeats itself, be less weepy
there seems to be an ebb and flow in this thing called grieving
and today I happen to be caught up in a wave that wants to swamp me
one thing that helps keep me from being swept under
is to open my eyes and let the tears flow freely

but,
I don't want to upset his mom who went in a little bit ago
so I sit here in her three seasons room by myself
waiting for the worst to pass, 
knowing that writing will help get "it" out

I quietly snuck into the kitchen to get a box of Kleenex
mom has a sixth sense- she came out to check on me
so the two of us sit here together silently praying for one another, 
having a good, quiet cry so we don't scare the neighbors
...and look forward to the morning

"...this I call to mind,
    and therefore I have hope:

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
    His mercies never come to an end;

they are new every morning;
    great is Your faithfulness.

“The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,

 “therefore I will hope in Him.”

Lamentations 3:21-24

"...Weeping may tarry for the night,

    but joy comes with the morning." from Psalm 30:5