Hope (2) revisited

part of a labyrinth the grand kids made

All last week while on vacation with my family I wrestled with a stirring in my spirit, a quiet, unnerving sureness I cannot explain, that this year holds changes in my life. I know nothing stays the same. Each day holds change. But I sense there is something different about whatever is coming. Not having a clue of what area it is going to affect  has made for a mixed pot of conflicting emotions and feelings. 

It terrifies me. It challenges my trust in God's timing. I am just now getting somewhat sure footed about living life as a single woman in the place Bill and I raised our family. Trying to figure out what it could be makes me tired. It has caused some despair and second guessing, wondering if I am doing something wrong. Doubt. What if I am wrong? I began to talk to my kids and tears about what I was feeling and tears choked out the words. Thinking about it tempts the dreamer in me. Excites my adventurous streak. It unsettles my security seeking self. Makes me wonder if I will have enough strength and courage for what lies ahead, all the while knowing God does not call us to anything He does not enable and equip us to do. Is my faith is deep enough to follow His lead? What if He calls me to give up something I am anchored to, but if I am anchored to anything that isn't Him I don't want it in my life. It speaks hope into my spirit that He is working in and for and through me. Hope does not erase my apprehension, but hope does give peace in the waiting.

three years ago I wrote the following post about hope:

"my soul is bereft of peace;
 I have forgotten what happiness is;
so I say, “My endurance has perished 
so has my hope from the Lord.”
Remember my affliction and my wanderings,
the wormwood and the gall!
My soul continually remembers it
and is bowed down within me."

Lamentations 3:17-20

These, or similar thoughts, could have been written by many of us. 

Focusing on feelings or circumstances can kill hope.

Take note of the shift found in Lamentations 3:21-25:

"But this I call to mind,
and therefore I have hope:

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;

His mercies never come to an end;

they are new every morning;

great is Your faithfulness.

“The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,

“therefore I will hope in Him.”

The Lord is good to those who wait for Him,

to the soul who seeks Him."

This second group of verses do not mean 
we never think about 
our pain and grief, 

our sorrow and heartaches,

instead, 

these verses challenge us 

to re-focus,

to reflect, 

to remember, 

even in the midst of the ugly-

God's love is steadfast.

God's love never ceases.

God's mercies are without end.

God's mercies are new every morning.

God's faithfulness is great.

Focusing on Truth is pivotal.

God is good,

all the time.

All the time,

God is good.

I have a living hope. 

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to His great mercy, He has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God's power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. Though you have not seen Him, you love Him. Though you do not now see Him, you believe in Him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls." I Peter 1:3-9

God's love is fuel for my hope.

"For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die— but God shows His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since, therefore, we have now been justified by His blood, much more shall we be saved by Him from the wrath of God. For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of His Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by His life. More than that, we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation."Romans 5:6-11

Faith gives me courage to look for and hold onto hope, 

regardless of my circumstances.

"Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through Him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us." Romans 5:1-5

"May the God of hope
fill you with all joy and peace in believing, 
so that by the power of the Holy Spirit 
you may abound in hope."

Romans 15:13

"For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence,
for my hope is from Him.
He only is my Rock and my Salvation,my Fortress; 
I shall not be shaken."

Psalm 62:5-6

"We have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul,
a hope that enters into the inner place behind the curtain,
where Jesus has gone as a forerunner on our behalf, 
having become a high priest forever after the order of Melchizedek."

Hebrews 6:19-20