money talks

Money talks.

Today it reminded me.
Today it challenged me.

Today it comforted me yet again. 

I have a growth on the side my tongue that looks like a taste bud gone rogue. It has been there a year and my dentist wanted it to be looked at by an oral surgeon and removed. He was convinced that it was not anything to worry about, but he doesn't want me to accidentally bite it. That is why this morning I was sitting in the office of a new (to me) doctor. My stomach let me know I was nervous. I thought it was because it was my first time in that office. As I sat in a chair waiting for my turn to go to an examination room I realized it was much more than that. I have never faced a procedure or surgery without Bill by my side for the consultation, waiting and praying for me during surgery and by my side taking care of me afterward. I have never had to think about who will go with me. About who will go pick up medicine or food. Tears began to build. My turn to go back came. I sat in an empty room, dwelling on how different this experience was. I kept blinking to keep the tears at bay. The surgeon came in, did his examination and came to the same conclusion as my dentist. "It is a benign fibro(something or other). Nothing to worry about. But it does need to be removed." and continued with the care plan. After he walked out of the room, as I waited for someone to come in and set up the appointment, the tears pushed through my defenses. I couldn't hold them back. I know she wanted to ask if I was okay, but she didn't. I couldn't figure out how to tell her I wasn't upset about the diagnosis. I wasn't afraid of the procedure to come in two weeks. I was missing my husband in a new way.

When I got back to Grayson I stopped at KCU to talk to a friend and catch up with what has been going on during Christmas break. Afterward I wanted to go home and cuddle under a blanket and ignore the world. But I was at 3,347 of my 10,000 steps a day goal. I felt guilty when I looked at how beautiful, sunny and warm it was. So I set out to walk a mile. It wouldn't get me to my goal, but it would look better at the end of the day.

As I walked up Landsdowne behind Water's hall all I could think about was how even though today it was 15 degrees warmer and sun filled, I'd rather be back walking on the beach in my winter coat.

Not long after that I found a penny.
I stooped to pick it up and was reminded "In God I (we) trust."

A little farther on I found a nickel.
Same message, just a different location and "value".

Another penny.

I kept walking. 
I kept finding change. 

I was almost done, heading around the last corner to register my 10,000th step, having prayed and written this post in my head, and found yet another penny. I had to smile and say "I hear You loud and clear God."

And the grand finale,  another nickel, near my car.

I ended up with 5 pennies, 2 nickels, a quarter and a Gattiland token.

I received something invaluable- a reminder, a challenge:

in the little things,

in the medium things,
in the bigger things,
in the things that turn out to not be what I thought they were,
all along the way, I choose whether or not "In God I trust."

Monday afternoon I go to see a dermatologist about a place on my nose. After today's walk I hope I hold tighter to and believe more deeply the messages on these two signs.