dreams, a blessing and a curse 62/366

dreams, the kind you plan and hope for:

this weekend I watched one fulfilled 
and it is good and exciting 

dreams, the kind that come while you sleep: 
I had one early this morning
I woke up at 6:24 but didn't need to be up until 7:30
so I stayed in bed,
fell back to sleep and had a vivid dream

I was sitting face to face with Bill,
holding his hands and we were talking,
it had been a while and his eyes were sad or tired,
I woke up, literally,
and in that space between sleep and being fully awake,
I was making plans for a special date
and my heart broke when I realized the date was a dream I couldn't fulfill

he's been in my thoughts more than usual today
and it is a double edged sword-
one that brings back memories that heal and bring a smile
but also cuts and hurts, 
bringing tears because there is no chance to add to our history

dreams
I wouldn't want to do without them
but some days I wish I didn't have such realistic ones


I miss doing life with this man