pride is a liar 89/366

independence?
self reliance?
not wanting to be a bother?
not wanting to ask someone to do what I can do?
those are just smoke screens I have hidden behind to mask my pride.

I wrestled with all of that this morning,
as I sat on my porch swing
looking at the lawn and its steady growth
taking stock of and thanking God for my steady healing
these things should have brought a smile to my face, but... 

even though it was a beautiful, perfect day to mow
I was filled with dread
because I knew what needed to be done
I was not going to be able to mow
IF I wanted my pec to continue to heal

just before noon I resigned myself to the fact I had two choices
swallow my pride, 
even if it choked going down
or risk further injury by pull starting my mower
and then wrestling it over the holes the dogs have dug in my yard

today, I chose wisely
I texted a friend to ask for help
he was more than happy to come and mow
the only thing harder than admitting I couldn't do the job 
was adhering to social distancing and not getting one of his amazing hugs before he left

Thank you Koty,
you are a blessing and I love you.