some days I just shake my head and smile

There is a lot going on in the World and in our individual worlds. I am fairly confident in saying I am not the only who is tired. Some of it I can help, like heading to sleep earlier in the night, paying attention to my caffeine intake, getting fresh air and ending the day reading rather than being on an electronic device.

Some contributors to weariness I have no control over. 

Like empathy. There is no turning it off and it takes a lot of energy to feel and process what other people are going through. Or dreams so vivid they are lifelike and you want to continue dreaming so you can keep visiting with someone who isn't here anymore. Or the random person who was walking up and down my street at 1am yelling. Or my dogs going ballistic, barking at 2am at who knows what and I'm not about to go outside by myself and find out what's causing the ruckus. 

Wednesday morning I needed to be up by 8 to begin a day full of ministry that would stretch until midnight. In preparation I went to bed earlier Tuesday, but it turned into one of those nights full of things I had no control over until well after 2. An 8 am wake-up was a stretch since there was no window for a nap. I felt like I was wimping out when texted my friend asking if we could reschedule even though I knew it was the right thing to do since I've had several of these nights strung together recently.

I was still questioning if I'd made the right choice as I pulled the covers up closer to my chin after I received a reply that we could move the meeting. It didn't take long after to know, without a doubt, I'd made the right call. 

I am not sure if I was drifting into or coming out of a sleep cycle when I realized my left my eyelid was itching. I reached up and scratched it. When the itch was taken care of, I began passing my fingertips over my eyelid so I could scroll (like you would on a touch screen) to see what was next on my mental list.

I wish I was exaggerating or kidding about that event, but I'm not. And I'm still not sure if that action was influenced by sleep deprivation or culture. Regardless, it's made me realize I need to push getting more rest toward the top of my priority list.