paperwork

Bill talked to me about almost everything I would need to do if he died before I did. He left me as well prepared as a woman can be.
Who I should go to for financial advice.
Who I should got to for tax stuff.
Who I should NOT date.
Where the Life Insurance Policies were.
What I should put in a pre-nup if I remarried.

About the only thing Bill and I never discussed was health insurance. Wednesday afternoon Karen and I tackled that monster with the help of Anna. It took an hour and a half. Thank you health care reform.

Speaking of Karen and the government, I did not gather everything I needed for her to process my taxes by April 15, so she filed an extension. Today I gathered all of the paperwork, through tears and memories crashing. This is another thing Bill always handled. I know doing them won't be easy for her. They worked together at KCU and doing taxes with her dad.

Since I was on a roll I decided it was time to use the information Karen had gathered about applying for the Lump Sum Death Benefit from SS. I called the 800 number, did the automated stuff and waited just a few minutes to speak to a real person and the process began.

"Hello, this is xxxxxx how can I help you?"
"I need to apply for the Lump Sum Death Benefit."
"Okay."
"What do you need to apply for?"
"The Lump Sum Death Benefit."

I can't imagine what she deals with  for this next statement to be necessary:

"You can't just apply for the Lump Sum Death Benefit."

I shake my head. Has someone applied for their own LSDB?

"My husband died August 29."
"Oh, okay."
"August of last year?"
"Yes, August 29, 2014"
"Why are you just now applying for the benefit?"

At this point I wanted to scream 

"BECAUSE I DON'T WANT HIM TO BE DEAD" 

instead I calmly replied:

"to be honest, I wasn't sure it was worth $250 to make this call and have to talk about it."

I got a token: 
"I am sorry for your loss.

I know it has been a few months."

I wanted to correct her-it has been 34 weeks today.
I didn't.
She was already back to business.

"What is his SS number? DOB? Place of birth? Mother's maiden name?"
"Verifying that information."
"Were you living with him when he died?"
"Yes ma'am."
"What is your SS number? DOB? Place of birth? Mother's maiden name?"

and the tears began-thankfully I was next to the kleenex box

"Verifying that information to see if you are eligible to apply for that benefit."

It is on the tip of my tongue to say,
"Forget it, take the $250 and shove it..." 
I won't finish that thought, I was not in a very good place right then.

"Okay, you can't apply for that benefit without an appointment. I will set up an appointment for you. You can set up an appointment over the phone or in the office."
"Okay."
"Okay, I will need his address. Wait, I will need your address. What is your address?"
"208 Park St."
"Slow down. 2"
"Yes, 208 Park St."
"Hold on, 20"
"Yes, 208 Park St. Grayson, KY"
"Wait, don't go so fast. 208 Park is that a street?"
"Yes, 208 Park St. Grayson, Ky"
"Is that 208 Park Grayson?"
"No, Grayson is the city."
"Hold on, I will ask for the city when I get to that point. What is your address."

She got snippy. I slowed down.

"2...0...8      P...a...r...k Street."
"208 Park. Is that a street?"
"Yes."
"City"
"Grayson"
"State"
"Kentucky."
"Okay, hold on for just a moment...Do you want an appointment in the office or over the phone?"
"Over the phone would be great."

I didn't know who I would end up with at the office, but if they were anything like the woman I was curently speaking with, in person could get ugly.

"The earliest phone appointment I have is Thursday April 30 at 3:00."
"That will be great."
"Okay, you will need your marriage certificate."

I was mentally scrambling to figure out what they were going to do with my marriage certificate for a phone interview. Is there a number on it?

"Um, my marriage certificate?"
"Yes, you will need to drop it of in the drop box or mail it."
"What drop box?"
"The drop box at the local office."
"If I have to go to the local office anyway, I will just call the office and make an appointment to go in."
"Oh, no, you can't call the office and make an appointment.
You have to call the appointment number. That's what I just did for you for your phone interview."

I was so befuddled at this point I am not sure what my response was,
but her reply was:

"You don't have to go to the local office. You can mail your marriage license in. As proof that you were married and you are eligible to receive the benefit. You can mail it to the address I gave you."

"You didn't give me an address."
"Oh, okay. Just a minute..."

I verified that I would receive a call from them rather than me needing to call them back. I never did get the address I could mail the license to. I was mad enough to spit nails. I simply said good bye. I am pretty sure she has not gone through this process personally.My experience is there is a difference in attitude and manner between those who have and those who have no clue. 
I wonder if she simply had a bad day.  I hope today was not her normal.

I went to our fireproof box to get our marriage licence.
I found birth certificates.

Baptismal certificates.
Wills.
Cards.
Notes.
The title for our car.
His Passport.
Paid mortgages.
Our marriage license.

 Deeds- 
for our home, our burial plots.

Bill always said, 
"The job isn't complete until the paperwork is done."

It was strange to see our life 

from beginning to end 

portrayed by paperwork.