unexpected

Life is full of the unexpected.

Bill asking me on a date. I spent three years of Sunday mornings loitering in the halls at church hoping to catch a glimpse of him.

My mom not knowing who Bill Bondurant was.

Bill choosing to marry me, even after I told him about my unwise choices.

Bill going from Banker to working for his dad.

Me learning to drive the tow truck so I could move it when I needed to get the car out of the drive and Bill was sleeping.

Twins. Daughters. Brown eyes. Elizabeth and Sarah.

His family had the history of the firstborn being a son (as in one baby) with blue eyes.

Another girl. 

(Sorry, Deborah, but I was sure you were going to be a boy.)

Bill leaving Bondurant's Towing to work at a Christian High School as an administrator.

A son we almost lost before he was born. Thank God for cesareans and Christian doctors. One strong enough to keep Jonathan from coming down the birth canal and one free to deliver him via c-section.

Homeschooling. 

Living in the same house for eleven years. A first for me.

A call for Bill to interview for a position at KCU.

Our 2 1/2 acres of wooded property selling within a week of listing it. Cash offer. When everything was brown. Right before Thanksgiving. After the realtor assured and warned us property doesn't sell in the fall, especially around the holidays, but when spring came we wouldn't have any problems.

Giving up our dream of building a log cabin on that lot.

Me not being bitter or angry about giving up that dream.

Our home selling quicker than we anticipated.

Repairs that moved the closing to the exact time we needed it to be so we wouldn't have to rent a place in Akron for two months before moving to Grayson.

Living in a double wide trailer while looking for a house. 

My Surprise 30th birthday party. Bill invited Beth and Sarah's friends as guests to help me eat my watermelon. I was three weeks away from delivering child number five, Andrew.

Looking at probably a hundred houses before finding a five bedroom home, that we liked, that we could afford, that was close to KCU. It took a year.

Another daughter, Ruth.

The miscarriage of our 7th baby.

My dad apologizing to me.

Our children giving us a 25th Wedding Anniversary party.

Becoming a KCU soccer mom. 

(Ruth didn't intend to play after high school.)

Becoming the Women's Soccer team mom.

2012 Summer from Hell.

2013 car accident.

Becoming the KCU Soccer Teams mom in 2014.

(Plural-added the Men's team last fall.)

Bill's death.

Being able to do the home improvements Bill had planned.

Writing this blog daily.

Opportunities to minister to others who are grieving.

(Grieving is not limited to death.)

Stirrings of spring, 

I can feel them-

new life,

new beauty,

new experiences.

Unexpected? 

To be honest, 

it depends on how I look at it.

I don't always feel confident.

When doubt

or anxiety

or fear

raises its ugly head 

I try to re-focus on what I know to be true 

rather than on what I am feeling at the moment.

I know God is good.

I know God is faithful.

I know God is working His healing in my life.

I don't know how He is going to display His goodness.

I don't know how He will show His faithfulness.

I don't know how He will continue His healing.

I have learned it probably won't be the way I expect,

so I live expecting the unexpected.

God has never failed me.

I have learned to trust Him implicitly.

I know He will provide everything I need when I need it. 

I know it will be beyond anything that I think, ask or imagine. 

I know I will miss out only when I limit His giving by trying to tell Him who, what, when, where, how, etc.

I think He likes to fill our lives in unexpected ways.