faith and fear, peace and joy

a sweet peace and deep joy dwell alongside my grief 

so, 

even when my heart aches deeply

and tears fall fiercely

I am well 

All day I have thought about the time Jesus was in a boat with His disciples and a huge storm came up. The disciples were afraid for their lives. Jesus was asleep. When they awoke Him He rebuked the wind and told the sea to hush. It became still. Then He spoke to them about fear and faith. I feel like I live in a boat with Him. Sometimes the waters are calm, sometimes they are a little agitated and occasionally a storm of great proportions threatens to swamp the boat. I see and feel the waves and the wind, the pain from being pelted is real, and sometimes I am unsteady on my feet when things are really rocking, 
but guys, 
I am in the boat, 
with Jesus. 
And I am not afraid. 
I trust that He has me. 
My faith in Him gives me sweet, deep, abiding peace and joy.

^" On that day, when evening came, He said to them, “Let us go over to the other side.” Leaving the crowd, they took Him along with them in the boat, just as He was; and other boats were with Him. And there arose a fierce gale of wind, and the waves were breaking over the boat so much that the boat was already filling up.  Jesus Himself was in the stern, asleep on the cushion; and they woke Him and said to Him, “Teacher, do You not care that we are perishing?” And He got up and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, “Hush, be still.” And the wind died down and it became perfectly calm. And He said to them, “Why are you afraid? Do you still have no faith?” They became very much afraid and said to one another, “Who then is this, that even the wind and the sea obey Him?” Mark 4:35-41 NASB