40th wedding anniversary weekend

it seems a lot longer than only one week ago today 

that we pulled into the parking lot of the Davies new home

Kyle and Ruth have been intentional about learning the area

and about getting out and meeting people outside the church

tonight that took us to a neighboring park to watch a movie

there was a large crowd and limited parking so Kyle dropped us off, 

Ruth, Xavier, Mia and I "claimed" our area for the evening

then Ruth took the kids to the play area while we waited for Kyle & dusk

I sat with our chairs and backpacks taking in the surrounding activity 

and began comparing it to what was happening Friday August 5, 1977

it seems a lot shorter than 40 years ago
that I wasn't outside, nor was I on the fringe simply observing 
rather, I was smack dab in the middle of a hub of activity
every eye was on me, every ear attuned to my words-
it was the night of our wedding rehearsal

I have been trying to prepare myself for Sunday
even though Bill is not here, 
it is still my 40th anniversary and something to celebrate
I knew that day could be a challenge,
but I wasn't prepared for the force and flood of memories that hit today

yes, there have been sad tears today
yes, there have been unshed, choked back tears today,
but there has also been happy, thankful tears and there will be more
as I miss my husband 
and as I cherish the life that is mine because we were a couple

these are just a few of my treasures