what's next?

Xavier likes to know "what's next"
it is one of the first questions he asks every morning
man did it get hard to answer him today

I grabbed some yogurt for breakfast and it began:
"what's next?"
well, do you want to go on a little walk with me"
"yes, what's next?"
well, we'll come home and I will shower and do some laundry
"what's next?"
I'll have to finish packing my suitcase
"what's next?"
we will eat some lunch
"what's next?"
we will go to the airport
"we will go to airport?"
yes
"why?"
grandma has to fly back home today
"ok, we will go to the airport"

I finish my yogurt and coffee
Mia and Xavier want us to sing "ring around the rosie"
so we sing and all fall down three times (my limit, not theirs)

we take our shortened daily walk 
we get home, they play, Ruth and I work
the rest of the item's begin to get checked off the list

the laundry and packing are done
we are sitting in the living room, watching the clock
and questions about our trip to the airport begin

"ok, we will go to the airport, I'll go on the airplane too"
no, only grandma is flying on the airplane today

Ruth saves me:

"buddy, we will fly on an airplane in December"
and I will meet you at the beach!
"at the beach !?!"
yes, at the beach !

we have a little time left
I need to read one more book with them snuggled up next to me
Xavier says "here's one"
I take it from him
they climb up on the couch and sit close 

I look at the title
"Jesus loves Me"
I open it and realize it is written to be sung, so I sing 
and make it through two pages before my voice begins to crack
at the fourth page tears start trickling
and Xavier notices them and looks at me with those big brown eyes
I hug him tight and choke out 
I'm gonna miss you guys...
looking back, I don't think I finished the book

before I was ready,
it was time to load up for the airport
and begin the journey of learning "what's next ?"