ch-ch-ch-change??? 364/366

 *disclaimer

I wanted a photo to accompany this post and when the youngest granddaughters decided to dye the tips of their hair blue I thought it would be a great idea for me to do it with them for the sake of illustration. (When did my granddaughters get almost as tall as I am?) Remember my idea of adding mascara to my repertoire? Well the hair coloring led to "Salon a Rah Rah" also volunteering to do my makeup. Wow. I'm not sure I'm ready for all of this! But it would definitely be a step forward in the quest to add more femininity to my life. (Who is the woman on the right?)

                                                             

Change. 

On the cusp of 2019-2020 I thought change was my word for the year coming. But I couldn't settle on it so I kept my mind open and continued praying. 

It started as a whisper. I thought I must not be hearing correctly. "Downsize"-what in the world did that word have to do with living day to day? But it wouldn't be silenced and I not so gracefully accepted it as my word for 2020.

Turns out downsize was exactly the word I needed this year. Physically, mentally, and emotionally downsizing has occurred.

Walking and changing my eating my habits has created a need for new clothes. Evaluating expectations and realizing I had some that were unrealistic has lessened my disappointments and eliminated some disillusions mentally and emotionally. 

The only area that has gone the other direction, that has grown, is my spiritual life. I am in a more intimate relationship with God today than I was a year ago. 

None of this was overnight, it was a slow process.

For the last couple of weeks a word has been lurking in the shadows of my consciousness. Change. The one word that was discarded last year has settled in for the coming year. It has been scaring me almost spitless. Especially since a defining word seems to been added in the last few days. Significant change. 

This morning in my time alone with Jesus, as I read and processed the account in John 1:35-42 my eyes were opened to a truth that was hard to swallow. I have been focusing on the word change, viewing it as a threat rather than as a gentle reassurance. 

I have a choice to make. I can focus on my heart racing, my mind chasing "what if's", my palms sweating, etc. when I think of "change" and keep my eyes wide open reluctantly looking for what it might be so I can "be prepared". Or, I can focus on Jesus. I can call to mind His faithfulness and rest in His trustworthiness. 

The way He has proven Himself in the past lets me know there is no reason to fear change, even "Significant Change". He knows. He sees. He cares. He loves. He's been here. He's here now. He's already in whatever lies ahead. That will never change and that makes trusting Him a no brainer. My heart may still beat wildly and my thought race and chase, but when that happens I can stop and focus on Him again and find rest.

"Therefore, brothers and sisters, since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way opened for us through the curtain, that is, His body, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near to God with a sincere heart and with the full assurance that faith brings, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful." Hebrews 10:19-23