The Price of Love

Two dear, long time friends, 
a couple who was involved in my life
before Bill and I became Bill and I
went out of their way to visit me today,
to check with their own eyes to see how I am doing.
Their oldest son's first year at KCU was the year we came to KCU.
It was wonderful to be wrapped up in a hug (several times)
and to have her whisper words of love in my ear as she hugged me.

We talked about the present and the past
and wondered aloud,
how can their son,
who I babysat,
have a daughter graduating from KCU in May?

I sit here tonight 
and I thank God for them. 
For their ongoing influence and participation in my life.
As I think back I am amazed 
at how much of my life has been impacted by them.

They were my high school youth group leaders,
they trusted me to babysit all three of their sons,
he addressed an issue in my teen life that needed to be addressed,
and I know it was not easy for him to do so.
The very first wedding she played the organ for was ours.
They mentored Bill and I when we were first married.
Their boys were in the first youth group Bill and I had
and when we moved to the high school group we had them again.
He served as an elder with Bill in Ohio.
He answered IRS related issues for Bill.
Their oldest son and his wife babysat our kids here in Grayson.
She continues to send me notes of encouragement
and as they left today she said
"I'll be talking to you, through the mail."

Seeing them made Bill's death a little more real.
This afternoon the reality intensified when I went to soccer practice.
I glanced at the scoreboard and saw this:

It may not look like a big deal, 
but it is and it brought tears to my eyes.
Bill loved KCU, athletics and the American flag.
It caused him distress that we did not have a flag at the field.
It caused me great joy to see this one hanging there today.
In my mind I can see the look on his face if he'd seen it.
He would have been so excited and proud.

Reflecting this evening has been emotionally draining.
A hard core ugly cry has happened.
And may be repeated before I go to bed,
but there is nothing about today that I regret.
And the only thing I would change 
is following through on my thought 
to snap a picture with my friends before they left.

To love deeply is risky and costly

but the rewards of loving deeply 

are satisfying and priceless.