the day gatorade made me cry...

Went to Sunday School for the first time this morning.

Attended a different class.

It was good.

We had a combined service in the Sanctuary for worship.

First time in there without Bill.

It was okay.

Came home and had lunch with the family.

Visited for a bit then took a nap.

Had an unpleasant dream.

Went to Gabriel Brothers to shop for blue jeans.

Found one pair that fit.

I was excited.

Remembered that the last time I was there 

I shopped for our beach vacation.

Suddenly it was a little hard,

I didn't want to pass the men's section

so I changed direction.

When I went to the front of the store to pay

I saw that Gatorade was on sale and thought,

"I need to get some of that for Bill's medicine".

Then I realized I didn't need any.

It got hard.

Quick.

Tried to tough it out.

Tried to swallow the grief.

Couldn't.

Left my credit card and cart with Beth and Deborah.

Told them the Gatorade got me.

Went to the car-

engaged in an ugly cry and screaming.

When the girls came came out,

I told them 

"Gatorade does not make me cry,

I saw Gatorade at the field yesterday."

I explained to them what my last trip to Gabe's involved.

I never imagined a trip to Gabe's would bring me to tears.

It was an immersion into how random things

in random places may very well lead to tears.

Grief changes a lot of things.

One thing it does not change is who God is.

One Thing Remains (Bethel)

PS 

If you see me out in public,

and you see that I have abandoned a shopping cart

please check for frozen and refrigerated items that need returned.