lift up your face 280/366

do you ever have those days that begin beautifully,

have a wonderful middle

and then something happens,

and everything changes,

but you have no idea of what that something was

and you get frustrated, maybe discouraged

because you can't figure it out?

that was my day

the morning was great

I looked out my kitchen window first thing when I came downstairs

my pansies greeted me with their beautiful, smiling faces uplifted

lunch 12:15-1:00 with friends was good

but somewhere between 1 and 1:05 when I arrived back home,

things changed

I was grumpy and tears were on standby

even though I didn't want want either of those things

I had two hours before soccer practice so I went outside

my pansies,

the ones that had been smiling a few hours before, were badly wilted,

not one flower's head was lifted

they looked like I felt

they needed a drink

so I took care of that when I watered what will hopefully soon be new grass

when I was done I sat thinking about how my soul felt like those flowers looked

I went to practice at 3:30 knowing I needed Living Water (aka Jesus) to flow over me 

a friend asked "how are you today?"

"grumpy

if someone says something mean to me I will probably cry

if someone says something nice to me, I will probably cry"

"that was me yesterday"

and she went out onto the Bermuda

while I sat in my lawn chair hiding behind my sunglasses

I watched

I prayed

I participated in chit chat

I looked

I waited

I thirsted

for a special touch from the Father, He's done it before, I knew He would do it again

I left when practice was over, thoroughly confused because I was still thirsty

I wanted to water the lawn again before I left for the evening

I glanced at the Pansies

they were revived and smiling,

heads lifted high again

I was a bit jealous 

but also thankful they'd bounced back so quickly

I gathered what I needed to take with me to spend several hours outside with friends

I almost didn't go because I knew it would be "different" and different is hard

these friends are a large group of mostly new people

some I have met personally,

some I only know through FB posts

part of my 2020 list includes not making excuses for myself

so I went, hoping for something good

listening to stories, learning names, s'mores was fun...

but it wasn't what my parched soul thirsted for

what I did need was coming in a brand new way

I sat in my lawn chair looking into the night sky

so much more of it's beauty can be seen in the country

Ron and Tiffany and some of the others had seen a shooting star

then a second one

I've been with them before when this happened, 

and have sat, jealous and discouraged because I am blind to them every time

until tonight 

darkness hid the tears of thankfulness that filled my eyes

as I looked up, my heart drank in the water the Lord was pouring over my soul 

quenching

refreshing

reviving

encouraging

His choice of tools this time? 

my first shooting star

Psalm 19

The heavens declare the glory of God;

the skies proclaim the work of His hands.

Day after day they pour forth speech;

night after night they reveal knowledge.

They have no speech, they use no words;

no sound is heard from them.

Yet their voice goes out into all the earth,

their words to the ends of the world.

In the heavens the Lord has pitched a tent for the sun.

It is like a bridegroom coming out of his chamber,

like a champion rejoicing to run his course.

It rises at one end of the heavens

and makes its circuit to the other;

nothing is deprived of its warmth.

The law of the Lord is perfect,

refreshing the soul.

The statutes of the Lord are trustworthy,

making wise the simple.

The precepts of the Lord are right,

giving joy to the heart.

The commands of the Lord are radiant,

giving light to the eyes.

The fear of the Lord is pure,

enduring forever.

The decrees of the Lord are firm,

and all of them are righteous.

They are more precious than gold,

than much pure gold;

they are sweeter than honey,

than honey from the honeycomb.

By them your servant is warned;

in keeping them there is great reward.

But who can discern their own errors?

Forgive my hidden faults.

Keep your servant also from willful sins;

may they not rule over me.

Then I will be blameless,

innocent of great transgression.

May these words of my mouth

and this meditation of my heart

be pleasing in Your sight,

Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.