what's holding you back?

I've seen the radar,

I know I am not alone in this-
as the rain turned to sleet which turned to snow,
a crazy dance back and forth between forms of precipitation,
I sat in the comfort of my house,
warm,
content,
unshaken...
until I wasn't so content and unshaken

in an instant my state of mind changed
not because I am in any danger or in need of anything,
but because I had a startling realization-

there is a vast difference between staying home because you want to,

and being at home, 

especially alone, 

because circumstances keep you from being free to leave

it has made me stop and think and question 

"what would I do if I couldn't get out, for days or weeks or months..."

I pictured my sweet mother in law,

a strong, independent woman

used to being on the go,

doing for herself and others

but her health has progressively slowed her down

the pandemic hasn't helped,

and recently the only time she leaves her home is for doctor appointments

she lives 300 miles away from me,

too far for a quick visit,

but not too far for a daily phone call

sometimes our chats last 30 minutes, sometimes 3, 

they include prayer, catching up on family life,

sometimes shared memories and tears,

and we often laugh over something one of us has accidently done or said 

she might be stuck at home,

and it might be discouraging some days,

but she doesn't let it keep her down 

and it doesn't stop her from being involved,

from touching other people's lives in powerful ways

and because I have seen how she chooses to face what she doesn't prefer,

I know that life and ministry doesn't end until Jesus calls us home

and tonight I can sit in my warm, comfortable house,

content and unshaken by "what ifs"

Thank you Mom Bondurant for continuing to love God and love people through your ministry of faithful, consistent prayers, your encouragement and words of wisdom, the letters and cards you send and the phone calls you initiate with others who need some company.

(and y'all might whisper a little prayer for me-she doesn't like to be in the spotlight and I'm not sure how she's going to react to this post!)