when your snowglobe world gets shaken...

Wednesday afternoon the forecast for Grayson was 1-4" of snow Thursday

I knew then that I wanted my next post to be about "snow globe" rest

I left the house to run errands before the storm started

I saw my first flake at 11:24

I hoped we would get at least an inch so I could share my thoughts

the forecast changed to 4-8"

I drove to the lake, knowing a before and after picture would be stunning

11:47 am

by 1:15 I felt like I was driving in a winter wonderland

my errands were done so I returned to the lake for an "in between" picture

I fully intend to rest in the peace of this snowglobe world

I can feel the gentle quiet

hear the muffled silence

almost taste the freshness in the air

and my heart is responding to the beauty 

1:28 pm

as I got out of my car and walked to the house 

those big, fluffy, fat wet flakes were quickly falling all around me,

the kind that are perfect for snowman building, snowball throwing, or sledding

and I got distracted from resting in their beauty, 

caught up in the shakeup of my snowglobe...

what if the roads aren't clear for small group?

what if I can't get to the lake to take a perfect "after the snow" picture

Big sigh of truth...I can't change the weather or plow and salt the roads

so I sat on my couch watching the dogs play while I ate lunch,

recalling "perfect snow" falls from years past-

my kids playing in the yard or racing down a hill at KCU on a sled

Bill giving them a push start,

coming home and coats, boots, mittens, scarves and hats being scattered

I wonder how much hot chocolate mix I have made over the years        

                    (1993)

 

(1994)

I want to rest in this infrequent gift

BUT...

"this is heavy, wet, steadily falling snow 

and from past experience I know what that means,

there is no way I can shovel it and still be able to move"

I don't need to shovel it, I have nowhere I NEED to be, but "what if ..."

also, old habits die hard and keeping the drive clear is an ingrained habit

   1993, Jonathan and Andrew     

 today, January 6, 2022

Watching the snow fall, especially the first one of the season, brings me deep breathing, cleansing, soul rest. Partly because it is a visual reminder that Jesus' blood washed me whiter than snow. (See Psalm 51) Partly because it is a beautiful respite from the browns of winter. 

Today that rest feels slippery. Not the forgiveness, just the respite.

As I was writing this post the weather warning alert on my phone activated. Now we are forecast to get 5-9" of snow. It is times like these that intensify my awareness that Bill is not here to make new memories (though I am thankful for the old ones) and he isn't here to do the things he did. (I never worried about snow coming when he was alive because we shared snow shoveling and he was a great driver regardless of what the weather was.) 

Thankfully I am well stocked. 

I have no need to leave the safety and warmth of my home. 

I resolve, right now, that for as long as this storm lasts, as often as I need to, I will practice breathing in and enjoying the wonder and beauty that blanket of white is making. I will fight against the "what ifs" that are battling to steal my joy and heart rest. I choose to wrestle for rest. And I'm not afraid to tag team that effort and tap in the One who paid for it and makes it possible. I will rest in the safety of knowing I am His and He is mine.

well, this answers any question of whether I should try and get out tonight...

and yes, it took me 3+hours to write and edit this post...