milestones

 

I am that person and I was married to that person

I've been keeping an eye on the odometer of my 2014 Malibu. Watching it creep closer and closer to 100,000 miles. The closer it gets, the more mindful I am of Bill. 

I am that person who waits for Black Friday shopping. I am also that person who has chosen, for at least the last ten years, to make it an online event because I don't like facing the crazy. I always shop Kohl's to stock up on their brand of soft blanket throws. If I do go to an actual brick and mortar store, I go late afternoon, after the hardcore shoppers are gone and things are picked over-but hey, I am not taking a chance with my life or anyone else's. Bill was that person who never did any Black Friday shopping. Until November 2013. He went out and came back with a brand spanking new car. It had less than 10 miles on it. I teased my very budget minded man mercilessly-he bought a new car, I bought new sheets and towels.

I am that person who uses what she has. We hadn't had the Malibu very long and Bill came into the house one evening and commented on how many miles were already on it. He was that person who was a conservative saver, I've learned to be a saver but I am not at the level he was. I looked at him, mentally throwing up my hands, and in one of my not so stellar moments, asked if we'd bought the car to drive or to park. 

I am that person who has watched as the miles roll by on the second new car Bill bought. I have smiled and thought of him as the "big" miles tick on: numbers he would have smiled at and taken note of how they related to the age of the car. 15,000, 25,000, 50,000 etc.  When I made the last payment, I thought of how excited Bill would have been. He might have started looking for another car. Not me. I plan on driving his one and only Black Friday purchase like we did all of our other cars-for as many thousands of miles as it will safely take me.

It is with some fear and trembling that I am watching the odometer more closely now. Less than a hundred miles from 100,000 miles. I'm trying hard to remain attentive to that progress, but it just isn't in my normal skill set. I'm more focused on who I am going to see or what I need to do when I get to where I am going than I am about the number of miles I am traveling. I am that person who might not see it until after it happens. Bill was that person who never would have missed it. When our last car hit that mark he was well aware of how close it was and made it a point to make sure I was in the car with him to watch the numbers turn. We celebrated. 

Seeing 100,000 miles without him will be yet another "first" milestone. I hope I get to see the numbers turn, but if I don't, it's okay. Regardless, I will celebrate how thankful I am for Bill, a man who loved me and made sure I had a reliable car.