adding to the list I wish I didn't have

My heart is freshly crushed.

It always is when someone I love is grieving.

Today it is with a different twist, a new perspective.

One of Deborah's friends said goodbye to her husband.

He was in an accident last week.

She has been at the hospital keeping vigil while he was in ICU.

My head is in a spin.

This hits close to home on several levels.

Bill and I travelled with her parents. 

We enjoyed spending time with them.

We had been in their home.

She is a year younger than Deborah.

She has two young children. 

Her daughter is not yet three. 

Her son was born a few months ago.

This young friend will move from where she was in my prayer journal 

to a page that is far too long.

To the page I wish had no names on it.

I counted the lines one day last week. Since Bill passed just over a year ago I have filled 39 lines, now 40, with names of people who are mourning.  A few are ones I have been asked to pray for that I don't personally know. Several of the lines have more than one name on it. Not of those mourning the loss, but names of more than one person the same person is mourning in a year. If I were to count the mourners, the number would be exponentially larger. 

Wives who have lost the man they were married to for years.
Young wives.

Grandchildren mourning the loss of grandparents.
Grandparents mourning the loss of a grandchild.

Siblings mourning the loss of a brother or sister.

Children mourning the loss of a parent.

Friends mourning the loss of a friend.
Parents mourning the loss of a child.

Young people.

Old people.

Friends.

Family.

Acquaintances.

It hurts every time I fill in a line.

I look forward to the day when no more names are added.

Come, Lord Jesus, come.

Amen.